Mortalitas in prosapia

My Uncle Clare Shrum died on Friday night.

I got a call Friday night that my dad's brother was being taken off life support. We didn't even know he was in the hospital till that last night-although we knew he was battling cancer. I was sure my dad would fly to Portland, Ore. to be at his funeral but this morning when I called him to ask him to include me if he was flying out there he told me he wasn't going. He said he told his brother everything he needed to say last time he talked to him. He told me it was too expensive to fly out there. And I told him, "Dad, I will pay for you to fly out there if that's the problem. I can do this, I can make this happen for you." and he said, "I appreciate that Sharon (my dad always calls me Sharon when he's trying to get a point across) but we said our goodbyes."
Apparently my brother offered to fly out with them and he told him the same thing.

I thought about the fact that I would not miss my brothers funeral if I had to go out there by Pony Express. I imagined the hurt and pain my grandmother would feel if she only knew.

It was dark and cold Saturday, although there was nearly no snow left on the ground. I made a carrot cake because I needed a little comfort food and I thought of my Grandma Shrum and how she baked all the time and it was always something scratch it seemed until her later years. The smell of cinnamon in the house helped me cope and made me think of her.

I sat in my office and sobbed pretty much all day...And then my cats started to gather around me, and my one cat jumped into the window next to my desk and looked at me typing. It's funny how kitty's know when your sad, because my cat was right there for me to lean my head on and she has a big black, soft, coat and she was just sitting in the window next to me allowing me to invade her space.

I one time asked my mom if she thought my cat loved me and she said, "He loves you as much as a cat can love."

"Pizza Friday" night and I was crying in the car, and my son tried to hug me and every once in a while he would brush a tear from my cheek. I told him he was such a nice boy.
The world goes on...It keeps spinning. People keep buying and selling, cats keep meowing, boys keep sleeping, babies keep smiling, diminished somewhat by that one person who is absent in the world.