Michigan Headlines and The Onion

Fed up: Woman says she shot ex after repeated 911 calls

Yikes!
Ponzi scheme targeted MI churches

DETROIT -- The following is a message from the OFIR:

The Office of Financial and Insurance Regulation (OFIR) announced today that it has taken action against a multi-million dollar Detroit-area Ponzi scheme. The agency determined that Michael Winans, Jr. was the ringleader of a multi-level scheme that used the family name and connections in the Detroit religious community to gain access to and prey on church members through a fraudulent crude oil bond investment program.

I would think the last thing you would want to do is anger The Almighty...

MI not among 1st round Race to the Top finalists

Gee what's new?

City of Flint to announce more layoffs

In the words of Gomer Pyle...."Sur-Prise-Sur-Prise-Sur-Prise!"

Foreclosure Notice on Emmet County Building

__________________________Onion_________________________________

	Google Responds To Privacy Concerns With Unsettlingly Specific Apology

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—'Whether you're Michael Paulson who lives at 3425 Longview Terrace and makes $86,400 a year, or Jessica Goldblatt from Lynnwood, WA, who already has well-established trust issues, we at Google would just like to say how very, truly sorry we are,' said CEO Eric Schmidt.

Hitting Coach Lets Out Long, Melancholy Sigh Before Working With Pitchers On Bunting

JUPITER, FL—Florida Marlins hitting coach Jim Presley massaged his temples with his left hand and emitted a deep, sorrowful sigh Friday when he realized he would have to spend two hours going over bunting with his team's pitchers.

My Constituents Care Way More About Political Gamesmanship Than Jobs, Health Care, And The Economy....

It is my responsibility as an elected official to look out for the people back home, the voters who sent me to Washington. So, after 20 years representing Ohio's 8th District, I know what the good citizens of Montgomery, Preble, and Butler counties really want: someone who engages in the kind of calculated political gamesmanship that increases his standing in the Republican party while simultaneously hindering our country's legislative process at every conceivable turn.
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