FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!!!

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/kent/8648011.stm

 

Man rescued off Isle of Sheppey after sailing blunder...

Lift that brain...Tote that cerebrum...

_________________________

http://www.bangordailynews.com/detail/141011.html

 

Canoeist capsizes twice in same day off Blue Hill 

I'm sorry, but it's time to take his canoe's away...For the safety of the general public...

_________________________

Shad Sham

http://www.slashfood.com/2010/04/09/shads-not-on-the-menu-at-namesake-festival/

 

Shad's not on the menu at namesake festival

 

Shad may have saved George Washington's army – and countless other European settlers – from starvation, but the bony fish's reputation has declined so precipitously in recent decades that organizers of an annual shad festival in North Carolina are unabashed about excluding it from their festivities.

"We do have fish, but we don't have shad," Grifton Shad Festival secretary Janet Haseley says cheerfully. "We used to have herring, but now we fry commercially raised catfish."
___________________________

Okay, if you're going to make counterfeit money, and I certainly don't recommend you do so, here is one place you probably don't want to try and pass your fake bills.  Out of the Quad-Cities area (Iowa-Illinois).

-----

 

http://qctimes.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/article_f212202e-5300-11df-824a-001cc4c002e0.html

Man pays courthouse with fake $50, arrest records say

 

Yancy Terrell Cochran tried to bail a friend out of jail, but now he's facing charges himself for his effort.

Cochran, 35, of Davenport, went to the Scott County Courthouse on April 21 to post bail for a friend, but he used a counterfeit $50 bill, according to arrest records and officials.

"It's not advisable bringing that in to pay fines," Dinneweth said of counterfeit money.

No kidding?
.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.

Michigan Erupts in Major News!

Court stays out of Asian carp dispute! Thank God...It was getting kind of one sided....

State gas prices down six cents! Oh Woo Hoo !!!

Only in Northern Michigan....

Just when I think that nothing is going on that's all that entirely interesting....
Kevorkian's death van listed for sale on eBay
Michigan hands you something on a platter with wine and cheese....
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More Wretched Captions....

Michigan Headlines, The Onion and Snopes!

MICHIGAN HEADLINES!

Nothing says we're bored like....Crowds Gather to See "City" Bear

And when the novelty wears off...DNRE & Animal Control Trying to Sedate Black Bear in Traverse City

_____________________________________THE ONION________________________________________________

New Homeless Initiative To Raise Bottle Deposit To 12 Cents

Concerned Parents Demand Removal Of Arsenic From Periodic Table Of Elements

Toads Can Predict Earthquakes

'Well, they certainly seem to have difficulty predicting when my car hits them.'

Biden Receives Lifetime Ban From Dave & Buster's
Toads Can Predict Earthquakes
Really...We're not kidding about this....


Well, yes we are....
____________________________________SNOPES!_______________________________________

http://www.snopes.com/science/cricket.asp

Cricket thermometer. 'Although they can't tell when I'm going to step on them...'

.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.
~Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.~

Michigan Headlines

Fox Yamaha Hosts Grand Opening With Special Deals and Pizza
The Pizza alone is enough to get me to go...


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The Onion....

American Airlines Now Charging Fees To Non-Passengers
"It's just not worth it anymore," said Caroline Huza, an Ohio native and mother of two. "Plus, every time I stay at home, I always get trapped next to some kid who won't stop crying."

U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths
Uh oh.
Scientists Finally Prove What Area Dad Has Been Saying For Years
Is it my dad?
Conan To Join TBS
Really? Then his plan is working perfectly....
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FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!!!

Poor horse and donkey....Gee....I don't really want to imagine....Really....Ew!

http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/news/Man-admits-sex-with-horse.6220237.jp

Man admits sex with horse and donkey

 Published Date: 12 April 2010

A 66-year-old man has pleaded guilty to having sex with a horse and a donkey.

 

Joseph Squires appeared at Leicester Crown Court charged with buggery of a donkey between February 2 and February 5, 1999, and buggery of a horse between March 15 and 18, 2004.
Defence counsel Amar Mehta told the court Squires had no previous convictions and was of previous good character.

Requesting that Squires be released on bail, he said: "The defendant does not have a stable address......

I'm pretty sure this is why my great great grandfather was ask to leave Germany for his indiscretions....

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~Ora pro equus quod donkey
(Pray for horse and donkey) ~

Headlines of the World....

http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2010/04/02/4106408-woman-82-crashes-into-salon-gets-her-hair-done

— An 82-year-old woman who accidentally crashed her car through the front window of a southwest Michigan salon stuck around afterward for an appointment to get her hair done.

<one eyebrow ceremoniously raised>
.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.
~Ora pro spectacles
(Pray for glasses) ~

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES! Marney, Marney, Marney....Thy name is "OCD"

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2010/04/08/awkward-family-itinerary/comment-page-1/#comments

 

If you read the comments, some people make comparisons to someone named Marney.  Here is the reason for those comments:

 

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/11/26/awkward-family-story-the-thanksgiving-letter/

 

I don't think I'd like going to Thanksgiving at Marney's house.
 

 Yikes! And I thought my family was bad.
I'd tell Marney, "Hey, we're having our own Thanksgiving. I know that this puts a gigantic hole in your serving menu...But I didn't think you would appreciate the hot wings I was thinking of serving as hors d'ouvres ..."

.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.
~Ora pro giant gas ball
(Pray for sunny weather) ~

Losing Face!

Facebook virus could cause computer damage! http://www.connectmidmichigan.com/news/story.aspx?id=441519

Literally

Thank you Gerson....

http://xkcd.com/725/

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http://www.mlive.com/news/detroit/index.ssf/2010/04/video_violent_bus_brawl_in_det.html
Holy Moley...

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES....

 In other news...News of questionable origin....

By John Brandon

- FOXNews.com

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/04/05/freaky-physics-proves-parallel-universes/?test=faces

 Freaky Physics Proves Parallel Universes Exist

Of course, in every universe, the Tea Party is filled with stupid people...

And Sarah Palin's broom has an outboard motor for an engine....

*smiles*
_____________________________

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2010/0407101purse1.html

Police Car No Place For A Beer

Cops: Florida teen popped open can of Steel Reserve inside cruiser...

Good picture though....Bet her parents are proud.
______________________________
__________________________________

Toyota exec urged automaker to 'come clean'

Confess! Confess!!

Cracking down on garage sales
Come on people-after ten days...If it hasn't sold most likely it's not gonna....

_________________________________The Onion_______________________________________

Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels

Hazing Incident Ends In Tragic Joining Of Fraternity

I've Left My Haltingly Awkward Voice Message; Now The Ball's In Her Court

.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.
~Ora pro Wilber
(Pray for Bill) ~

Man Attempts To Assassinate Obama, 'But Not Because He's Black Or Anything'

Michigan Headlines and From The Desk of Pete Yates!

Michigan Headlines

Sinkhole Forces Partial Road Closure in Traverse City

So endth Michigan...

2010 Census Questionnaire Due Today

You get 10 points off each day the Questionnaire is late.

______________________________

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!

Somehow, I don't think this couple is going to make it.

http://www.wtsp.com/news/mostpop/story.aspx?storyid=128853&provider=top

-------------------------------

Florida woman arrested after emailing "very provocative" photo

Shalimar, Florida -- A Panhandle woman and her live-in boyfriend face assault charges after she emailed nude photos of herself to "other dudes."

According to an arrest report from the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, deputies arrived at the home Kizzy Campbell, 31, shared with Johnny Lowe, 28, to check on reports of a family disturbance.

MUG SHOTS: Campbell's and Lowe's booking photos

____________________________________________________

The Onion

News in Brief »

Rescued Baby Bird Wearing Out Welcome

Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.
~Oh dear....~