Sunday, November 30, 2008

Only in Northern Michigan and Snopes!





SHOT FIRED INTO OSCEOLA COUNTY HOME
Investigators are looking for whoever shot a bullet that went through a
family's house in Osceola County. The bullet flew into a teenager's room
at the house in Rose Lake Township Tuesday. It blasted in near a bedroom
window and went through a closet wall. The family wasn't home at the time
and no one was hurt. But deputies want to know who fired the shot. The
sheriff asks anyone with information to come forward. He says there's a
chance it was just a mistake.

http://www.snopes.com/fraud/sales/express.asp
Beware of anyone bearing gifts....Apparently....

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/letssaythanks.asp

I've posted this before but also look at this:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/christmas/soldiercards.asp
and look at this:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/christmas/walterreed.asp

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

From the desk of Pete Yates!

I don't know her, and I don't want to...

I keep telling everyone there is a God and now there's proof!

Ann Coulter's jaw wired shut! We're sooo sad....

Anncoulte_duffy_10751119_600 Page Six is reporting that right-wing agitator and controversy-seeker Ann Coulter's jaw is wired tightly shut.

I know, I know. If the report is true, It's almost as if our prayers have been answered.

Apparently it was broken, but by whom, no one seems to be sure.  We could hazard a guess, but why throw roses yet.

The blogosphere is already aquiver over the idea of a forced Coulter Moment of Silence.

Finally, the Right Wing Barbie Doll has to shut up. This is, after all, the woman who called 2004 VP nominee John Edwards the F-word in 2007 while speaking at the Conservative Political Action Conference.

"I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out that you have to go into rehab if you use the 'gay hate word' " so I'm -- so, kind of at an impasse, can't really talk about Edwards, so I think I'll just conclude here and take your questions."

The rehab reference was a right-wing joke (and we use the term loosely) about actor Isaiah Washington using that word for his "Grey's Anatomy" co-star T.R. Knight and been forced by the network to undergo psychological treatment.

But her unfunny comments drew criticism from all fields, Democrats, Republicans and gay rights groups.

But here's the best part about the Coulter broken jaw news. No really, this is really good: Seems she has a brand new book titled "GUILTY" due out in early January and, of course, was all booked on TV and radio talk shows to discuss the "much-needed reality check on a Left gone wild," declares the book's jacket.

Her latest work reportedly exposes and mocks the media's love affair with all things Democrat and all things President-elect Barack Obama.

Too bad Ann won't be able to say a word about her new book.

That's just a gosh darn shame.

Photo: WireImage

*******************COMMENTS**********************

My god, that woman(?) is uglier than Giuliani (9/11) in drag.

Posted by: DalGoda | November 26, 2008 at 02:08 AM

Ann's jaw wired shut? There is a god! My prayers have been answered and I am one of those far left liberals who thinks religion is what is ruining this country. Maybe now God is on our side.

YES! There is divine justice.

Perhaps this is evidence of God working in mysterious ways. This may be his mysterious way of telling her to be quiet..

Whats funniest of all is that there are some who still think Coulter is a Woman!!..Most of us KNOW Coulter is a guy!!

________________________Rock Solid Red Head______________________________________

Frankly here's my opinion, take as you will:

I am sorry she is going through the pain of a broken jaw....OW! That hurts and no one should have to go through it.

(Although I love banana milk shakes and soup....And if there was any fat left on her body it's going to go bye bye before she gets her wires off.)

However, if you put your thoughts out there for everyone to see, and if you're vehement about your view points, then, you are going to get people who do not wish you well. In fact if you call them names, then most likely they will wish the exact opposite for you.

Especially if your blatantly crazy as a the cat lady.


http://scienceblogs.com/zooillogix/simpsons_CrazyCatLady.gif

Case in Point:

THE REIGN OF LAME FALLS MAINLY ON MCCAIN

http://www.anncoulter.com/cgi-local/article.cgi?article=282

This was such an enormous Democratic year that even John Murtha won his congressional seat in Pennsylvania after calling his constituents racists. It turns out they're not racists -- they're retards. ( I wonder how long it will take Sarah Palin to begin to hate that word? And school anyone using it? And I wonder how long she'll stay a Republican with a disabled child....Oh about as long as it takes for her to get some kind of reality check when it comes to the biases that people have against the disabled...) Question: What exactly would one have to say to alienate Pennsylvanians? That Joe Paterno should retire?

Apparently Florida voters didn't mind Obama's palling around with Palestinian activist Rashid Khalidi and Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan, either. There must be a whole bunch of retired Pennsylvania Jews down there.

(Excuse me?)

Have you ever noticed that whenever Democrats lose presidential elections, they always blame it on the personal qualities of their candidate? Kerry was a dork, Gore was a stiff, Dukakis was a bloodless android, Mondale was a sad sack. (See title above).

I keep trying to get Democrats to take my advice (stop being so crazy), ( truly this is the pot calling the kettle cast iron....) but they never listen to me. ( I wonder why?) Why do Republicans take the advice of their enemies?

( I didn't know we were enemies, I thought we were American's.)

How many times do we have to run this experiment before Republican primary voters learn that "moderate," "independent," "maverick" Republicans never win, and right-wing Republicans never lose?

(Um, what? You've lost me...)

Indeed, the only good thing about McCain is that he gave us a genuine conservative, Sarah Palin. He's like one of those insects that lives just long enough to reproduce so that the species can survive. ( Didn't you just say that "whenever Democrats lose presidential elections, they always blame it on the personal qualities of their canidate"? Aren't you doing just that?) That's why a lot of us are referring to Sarah as "The One" these days.
(The One what?)

Like Sarah Connor in "The Terminator," Sarah Palin is destined to give birth to a new movement. That's why the Democrats are trying to kill her. And Arnold Schwarzenegger is involved somehow, too. Good Lord, I'm tired.

( I want you to go bandy around the term "retard" in front of Sarah Palin in about....Oh five years....Let's see how long this love affair will last around 'bout that time? )


Rock Solid Red Head
____________________________
*****Any Questions?****

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Snaaaaaa opes!

http://www.snopes.com/photos/accident/housebridge.asp
House over troubled waters?

http://www.snopes.com/business/origins/mcdspoon.asp

Spoons of destruction

http://www.snopes.com/disney/waltdisn/mother.asp

♫ Sometimes I feel like a motherless Disney...♫

http://www.snopes.com/humor/business/beer.asp
In these economic times, I can see this has prospects. This is why there are no beer cans left on the side of the road in Michigan.


"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't be able to sit for a week"

--Theodore Roosevelt

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Pearl Onion




Thousands Gather For Stuffing Of

Giant Rockefeller Center Turkey

November 18, 2008 | Issue 44•47

Thousands Gather

Once again this year, dozens of happy children slipped and skidded across the ceremonial turkey fat on the ice rink.


NEW YORK—In what has become a Thanksgiving tradition, more than 10,000 locals and tourists alike braved the cold Monday to watch the annual stuffing of the Rockefeller Center Turkey.

The nationally televised event, which has rung in the holiday season for nearly 80 years, began at 5 p.m., when workers propped open the skin flaps of the 55-foot-tall bird, and pushed an 11-ton mixture of bread crumbs, onions, and other fixings into its massive trunk.

"This year's stuffing is shaping up to be the best one yet," said Mayor Mike Bloomberg, addressing the crowd from a podium next to the giant avian carcass. "Look at that beautiful glistening turkey!"

Enlarge Image Bloomberg

Mayor Bloomberg rings in the Thanksgiving season.

"Let Thanksgiving begin," Bloomberg added as he ceremoniously picked up a handful of salted butter and coagulated grease from the pile and threw it into the cheering crowd.

Moments after a 150-foot-tall crane stuffed the raw turkey to overflowing, ground crews fastened the bird's gargantuan legs together with nearly 200 yards of kitchen string. According to organizers, the Rockefeller Center Turkey will be basted hourly with 30,000 gallons of natural juices, pumped from industrial hoses, to prevent it from drying out.

The largest Thanksgiving centerpiece to date, the 70-foot-long turkey was personally selected by the mayor from a Maine farm and transported to Rockefeller Center on the back of a flatbed truck. Throughout its journey to the Big Apple, a record number of onlookers greeted the enormous, vacuum-sealed animal, with many a passerby scrambling to get their picture taken alongside it.

"The guidelines we use to find the perfect turkey are based not only on height, but also plumpness and just the right amount of dark meat," said David Murbach, who has helped procure Rockefeller Center's giant turkey for the past 25 years. "While this year we did opt for a commercially grown bird, in 2007 a family living in Vermont donated a 45-foot-tall turkey they had in their backyard."

Crowds reportedly started arriving before noon to watch the festive turkey-stuffing spectacle, which included live musical performances by Josh Groban and American Idol–winner David Cook. In addition, the entire cast of NBC's Chuck received the honor this year of walking inside the turkey's abdominal cavity to retrieve the 1,000-pound giblets packet.

"I knew the crowds were going to be huge, but I wanted my son to be here on the day all the stuffing went in," said Cleveland resident Dean Carlson, who was visiting New York with his family. "You should have seen the look on his face when they peeled back the skin with that giant skidder. This is something he'll remember for the rest of his life."

On Tuesday, gravy boats came up the Hudson River, while dump trucks heaped with mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and boiled corn lined Sixth Avenue for nearly a mile. Several dozen workers have also been added to the payroll to shovel congealed fat and gristle off the sidewalks until the end of December.

"You know the holidays are right around the corner when you can smell raw turkey from 50 blocks away," SoHo resident Stephen Finney said. "Thanksgiving in New York just wouldn't be the same without it."

According to historian Steve Medina, the custom of stuffing a Rockefeller Center turkey first started in 1931, when exhausted workers laying the plaza's foundation kept their spirits up by preparing a 10-foot-tall bird right on the construction site. The tradition quickly caught on, and has only grown in pomp and popularity since.

"The Rockefeller Center Turkey has given us so many wonderful memories over the years," Medina said. "From the first honey-glazed bird in 1957, to that image of Mayor LaGuardia raising those giant gizzards above his head to signal the start of another Thanksgiving season."

"Through depression, war, and even food shortages, this incredible tradition has always endured," Medina continued. "Except of course for 1951, when the enormous bird rolled off a cargo train and crushed 64 people before plunging into the East River."

The Rockefeller Center Turkey will be slow-roasted from 5:30 p.m. to midnight each day until Thanksgiving, when the red button pops out, indicating that the bird is fully cooked and ready to be served.

Officials claimed that the turkey would not be wasted this year, as its leftovers will be used to make enough sandwiches to last for the next 10 months.


Sponsored by

Related Media

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Fraternity In Danger Of Losing House Launches Harebrained Scheme To Fix Economy

November 17, 2008 | Issue 44•47

Frat

Frat members get high and talk financial instruments.



DURHAM, NC—When the residents of Sigma Alpha Theta house learned last week that the 80-year-old building they call home was under threat of foreclosure, they decided to take matters into their own hands by devising a wacky, R-rated plan to completely repair the battered American economy.

"The moment we got the bad news, we knew there was only one thing we could do," said Theta president Peter "Cool Pete" Barrow. "Sneak into the Federal Reserve Bank with two cans of Barbasol and a giant fishing net in order to adjust the overnight lending rate while no one is looking."

"We're not going to take this decline in investor confidence coupled with the suffocating effect of unregulated derivatives-trading lying down," Barrow added, belching.

Enlarge Image Bernanke

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke reconsiders adjusting the overnight lending rate.

While Theta House is closely guarding the details of its laugh-a-minute economy-rebuilding scheme, Barrow admitted that it involves a 50-gallon drum of Crisco, the U.S. Senate, five Russian exchange students in bikinis, incentives designed to provoke a massive injection of capital from the private sector over the next three fiscal quarters, and a dead horse.

If all goes according to plan, fraternity members said, the scheme to prop up the U.S. economy will be completed just in time to throw the fall formal dance into total chaos.

The Theta Plan, as it is known, has drawn mixed reviews from economists. While most agree that the financial theory behind the scheme is "crazy," others counter that the idea of flying a hot-air balloon filled with dry ice over Wall Street is so outside the realm of conventional thinking that, paradoxically, it just might work.

"We never should have allowed Noodleman to refinance our house," Theta brother Tater said. "He flunked Econ six semesters in a row! Now we have no choice but to pump confidence back into the system and reinvigorate the stock market ourselves, so we can save our house and get [longtime Sigma Alpha Theta mascot] Barfy the Goat back."

The crazy plot originated when two officials from Bank of America arrived at the fraternity's beer-can-littered front door to deliver the news that they had 30 days to come up with $237,498 in back payments, or the house would be repossessed. Most of the members claimed to have had no idea that their house was so deeply leveraged, which was reportedly due to the fact that Fat Billy Bower had just baked a batch of marijuana brownies, two of which were mistakenly offered to the bankers with hijinks-inducing results.

Still, the sobering news cast a pall on the Theta House members. Most sat on their hands and stared glumly into space until they were rallied to action by a normally quiet, newly initiated figure known as Slingshot.

"Were we down when the dean threatened to revoke our charter unless we cleaned up our act?" Slingshot asked. "No! Were we down when the still in the basement exploded, knocked the house off its foundation, and nearly blinded Prescott? No! Are we going to let the complete collapse of the global economy get us down now?"

After a rousing chorus of "Heck no!" the misfit fraternity quickly concocted the scheme, with which it hopes to eliminate the sprawling and complex credit-default-swaps market, stabilize the dollar, and create the world's largest beer bong.

Some elements of the plan are reportedly already in place, including convincing the girls from their sister sorority to remove their tops to distract security guards at the mansion of NYSE Euronext CEO Duncan Niederauer, and the construction of the Recoverybot—a profanity-spewing, stock-trading automaton designed by horny Japanese exchange student Shibusawa "The Brain" Shigenobu.

But Sigma Alpha Theta's plan has met fierce opposition from stodgy authority figure and Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke, who vowed to stop the collegiate scheme.

"We are at a tenuous point in the [Troubled Assets Recovery Plan] enacted by Congress, and any outside interference could damage the good we've already done," Bernanke said. "I'll do whatever it takes to stop those roughnecks of Theta house. No one saves the economy but me. Especially not a bunch of grimy low-lifes who have no respect for traditional economic policy."

While it remains to be seen whether the plan will go awry or will somehow all come magically together at the last minute, fraternity members were confident that they will ultimately succeed in both saving the economy and getting everyone laid.

"How hard can it be?" SAT brother Jeffrey "Tank" Worthen asked. "Last year we discovered cold fusion in order to keep Geezer from getting kicked out of his grad program. And just last semester we launched a space shuttle in order to win back our girls from the creeps at ZBT."


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Crocodile Bites Off Bush's Arm

HOMESTEAD, FL—A 14-foot crocodile bit off President Bush's left arm at the shoulder Monday, a White House memo reported. Bush, who was reportedly standing waist-deep in a swamp at Everglades National Park when the crocodile struck, also sustained severe puncture wounds and torn flesh in his hip and upper thigh. According to witnesses, Bush attempted to fend off the large reptile with his left arm, but the crocodile latched onto it above the elbow, dragged the president underwater, and ripped his arm from its socket. Bush's severed arm was unable to be recovered. Doctors confirmed that he will be fitted with a prosthetic limb in a procedure Friday, and that he is currently being treated for sepsis. Bush is resting comfortably in Annapolis Naval Hospital.


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CREDIT!?! We don't need no stinkin credit!!!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Snopadelic

http://www.snopes.com/politics/christmas/soldiercards.asp
Send a card to service members and veterans through the Holiday for Heroes program.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/parental/babybox.asp
If I saw this I would think it was just plain
A) really bad parenting and would be outraged
B) and creepy in a big way.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/lottery.asp
Well that's never a good sign is it?

http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/sofitel.asp
Well, I would think that this would really not help especially if someone had problems with erectile dysfunction.

Caption of the moment

By Dirigo:


Meanwhile, in the Gulf of Mexico...

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