Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Only in Northern Michigan....

Biggest News in Big Rapids since the Ferris State Bull dog was neutered.

Bear Takes Wrong Turn, Ends Up in Downtown Big Rapids

Did you notice a bear running around Big Rapids? No, your eyes were not playing tricks on you. The bear was seen running around the area of Fuller and Division Streets around 7:00pm Friday night.Police tried to shoo the bear out of the city, but instead it climbed up a big tree and sat there.
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Saturday, June 26, 2010

From The Desk of Pete Yates and Snopes

Rhymes_with_Orange.20100314_small.gif
I don't know how he saw my office, because he's never been here....But yeah....This is pretty much what it looks like....

_____________________________________________________________
Snopes!!

Machiavellian? Seriously? Why does everyone trying to sound politically intelligent somehow seem to find a way to reference the Machiavellian's?
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/overwhelm.asp

Jon Voight? Really? Are you sure that it was that Jon Voight? Hua?
Well maybe it just goes to show you, just because they're actors doesn't mean they're SANE.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/voight.asp


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Friday, June 25, 2010

Jackass's of the week

SALINAS, Calif. – A California couple faces child endangerment charges after police say they tried to sell their 6-month-old baby for $25 outside a Walmart store.

Salinas police spokesman, Officer Lalo Villegas, said Thursday that Patrick Fousek, 38, and Samantha Tomasini, 20, were arrested early Wednesday, hours after Fousek allegedly approached two women outside Walmart and asked if they'd like to purchase his child.

The women initially thought Fousek was joking, but when he became persistent, they became suspicious and reported it to police, Villegas said.


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Thursday, June 24, 2010

TRY THE ONION....

Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde

Nation's Boyfriends Dreading 'Free Event In The Park' Season

No Size-36 Pants Can Contain Me

Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports






Michigan supposed headlines and From Ebay!!!

Marion Fair Faces Cuts In State Funding

Whereas Marion Homely is getting lots of help because well.... She's ugly.....

Mesick Consolidated School Board Passes Budget


I'm not sick about that, I'm sure they needed to pass the budget.

_____________________________________________________

From EBAY!!!!


http://cgi.ebay.com/SKULL-HEAD-TOILET-BRUSH-HOLDER-SKELETON-BIZARRE-L-K-/390210806774?cmd=ViewItem&pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item5ada6063f6
....Or from Hell....One of the two....

http://cgi.ebay.com/Bizarre-Happy-Mouse-Eating-Cookie-Cookie-Jar-/370400143511?cmd=ViewItem&pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item563d91a897
Um kay....

http://cgi.ebay.com/Antique-PHOTO-3-MEN-BIZARRE-COSTUMES-OAK-HARBOR-WA-/140419714518?cmd=ViewItem&pt=Art_Photo_Images&hash=item20b1aacdd6
Back when men were men and sheep were nervous....

http://cgi.ebay.com/Dancing-Dance-Ballet-Skeleton-Odd-Psychobilly-Necklace-/230415382077?cmd=ViewItem&pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item35a5d3b63d
Um, alright....

The thing that gets me is when the title says: "Odd Stuff! -Weird L@@K!!!"
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I'm here all week-try the veal.



Sunday, June 20, 2010

Only in Northern Michigan

.....Really....Only in Northern Michigan are these the most important headlines of the day on a Sunday.

Classic Cars Descend Upon Central Lake

In an act reminiscent of 1950's scifi flicks...Cars descended upon a central lake and proceeded to park around the lake and drink bottles of 10W 40 motor oil until the wee hours of the morning.
No arrests were made but there were many complaints of loud exhausts, intermittent honking.

Group Uses Health Fair to Raise Drug Awareness
Well of course we're aware of Drugs....Thank God! I mean, a day without Xanax is a day without clarity, saneness, or sunlight.

Beal City and Shepherd win baseball state titles

Titles like: Field of Dreams
                A league of Their Own
                Bull Durham.


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Saturday, June 19, 2010

*CHOKE* sputter *Cough!*

AOL Ranks Traverse City #8 Beach Town in America

Okay, who'd they pay off to get that?
Well, it is AOL.....I mean, come on....

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

What more Onion?!?

Yes apparently once a week is not enough....

CDC Officials Announce Free Ice Cream For Everyone, Delicious Tasty Ice Cream, And Also There Is An Ebola Outbreak


Vast Mineral Resources Found In Afghanistan

'This is fabulous news!?'


Stand Back, I Think I Know CPR

by Greg Parnell


Dixieland Band Evicted
Can anyone be blamed?

Starbucks To Begin Sinister 'Phase Two' Of Operation

SEATTLE–After a decade of aggressive expansion throughout North America and abroad, Starbucks suddenly and unexpectedly closed its 2,870 worldwide locations Monday to prepare for what company insiders are calling "Phase Two" of the company's long-range plan.





Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Only in Northern Michigan

Euthanasia Numbers Climb as Population of Feral Cats Increase
Cats take a stand to stop suffering of the elderly and infirm and terminal feral cats....

(Actually this is pretty serious stuff, there is no reason why people can't get it through their thick skulls that your cat needs to be spayed or neutered...It's that simple. Why contribute to an overpopulation of cats and dogs for that matter. It's pretty pathetic. You're not doing them any favors by letting them have kittens or puppies...There are enough animals to be adopted in the world.)

Despite Rough Economy, Volunteerism Increases
That's because they're bored and need something to do- because they're unemployed.
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Onion Things....

Obama To Make Reassuring Eye Contact With Every Last American



Ventriloquist Dummy Crosses Line In Suggesting Partner Is Actual Dummy



BP Buys Search Terms



It's Feet Like This That Remind Me Why I Got Into Geriatric Podiatry






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Monday, June 14, 2010

PURE MICHIGAN *snort* .....

This is so "Only In Michigan" .....And Wisconsin....

Dairy Festival Kicks Off in Traverse City
Get this:
Colantha Walker was a legendary dairy cow that produced nearly 10 times the annual average amount of milk from 1916 to 1932. Today her spirit was celebrated with bocce ball, a pancake breakfast and a parade down to her final resting place.

<one eyebrow raised in your direction>

Deputies ask for help in Mecosta County vandalism

...Or reasons why we need concrete mailboxes.

New EPA Regulations Have Dairy Farmers Crying Over Spilled Milk

DON'T DO IT!!! PEOPLE WILL CALL YOU A MARY!!!!

But get this:
Environmental Protection Agency intends to classify milk as a hazardous waste; in the same category as oil. That means, farmers would have to come up with an oil spill prevention plan which could cost them thousands of dollars.


For cereal guys? Are you going to start classifying bird poop as hazardous too because there's tons of that just randomly on statues, cars, sideways etc.....
What about rain water? How's about farts? Mercy knows that they smell hazardous....



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~*Pax tecum*~
May peace be with you.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Jackass of the Week


You too can totally destroy an ecosystem....

BP CEO Tony Hayward (VIDEO): 'I'd Like My Life Back'

Hayward's comments are baffling as he's not even trying to hide that fact that he's only looking out for Number One.




The animals that have been killed-the people whose livelihood is vanished...They'd like their lives back too.....JACKASS!!!

Only in Northern Michigan and Closing Pet Stores- An idea whose time has come....And what about that Metric System that you teachers so forcefully touted....

Cash for Appliances Still Going on in Cadillac
They say more people are coming in to buy dishwashers, washers and dryers and refrigerators that save energy....

That explains the dishwasher I saw on the side of the road with the hobo sack and the thumb out....
________

Thank you Xig for this interesting article.

Closing Pet Shops: No longer "How Much is that Doggie in the window?"...Because he doesn't have a waggily tail he has two of them- caused by inbreeding, and four ears- which is kind of disheartening....

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37359894/ns/health-pet_health/

I think it's a great idea to ban pet stores....Why a pet store? Go to a shelter or find a breeder in your area online or at your local veterinary office.



________USA TODAY____________

I-19 is in midst of metric muddle

I-19 may be the only interstate in the USA to use kilometers on such signs along its entire length. The U.S. Metric Association, a group that supports U.S. adoption of the metric system, says other border areas, north and south, often add metric signs on segments of their roads to accommodate visitors.

Long sections of I-89 in Vermont near the Canadian border, for example, use kilometers. Signs on sections of highway in California, Tennessee, Connecticut and other states have used miles and kilometers.

Arizona is considering converting the signs to miles — a move that is stirring as much controversy as the signs have caused for more than 30 years.

This is what I'm talking about, Mrs. Johnson, my fifth grade teacher....If that is your real name...
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Monday, June 7, 2010

Bad humor/Good humor/No humor

________________________Only in Northern Michigan__________________________

8 Tornadoes Hit Michigan


...And we're not talkin women....
♫ It's rainin men....Hallelujah....♫


Youth Ranch Holds Horse Blessing
A blessing of the horses was held today to kick off the summer season at a local ranch.

Which is similar to the "Baptizing of the Kittens" which was held in my parents bathroom when I was five.


A coliform contamination found yesterday in the Manistee city water system has brought on a boil advisory for any water to be used for drinking. The contamination is believed to stem from a technological malfunction within the system. The water is safe to bathe in or to water your plants but people are asked to boil any tap water to be used for drinking or cooking.

That must truly stink....Pardon the pun.

_____________________________ USA TODAY__________________________________

That Billboard makes my mouth just water!

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2010-06-04-dang-that-billboard-smells-good_N.htm
MOORESVILLE, N.C. (AP) — It's not just the picture of beef on a new billboard in North Carolina that tries to catch drivers' attention, it's the aroma coming from the sign.

Rocket science: Mentos and Coke Zero propel vehicle
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2010-06-01-mentos-vehicle_N.htm
BUCKFIELD, Maine (AP) — The guys who became an online sensation by creating geysers from soda and Mentos candies have discovered it's not just entertainment. It can propel vehicles, as well.


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Friday, June 4, 2010

Only in Northern Michigan and Guess what?!? The Onion....That's what!

55th Annual Bass Festival Starts Today





McDonald's Pulls 12M Cadmium-Tainted Shrek Glasses
McDonald's is recalling 12 million drinking glasses it is selling to promote the new "Shrek" movie because painted designs on the cheap collectibles contain the toxic metal cadmium.
Made in China perhaps?

Emmet & Cheboygan Co. Landowners Question Oil Drilling
You-question-it? Do you not watch THE NEWS!?!

Drilling Could Boost Local Economy
Or cause a natural disaster....Again....Do you not watch THE NEWS!?!
______________________________________________________

The Onion

Children Of All Ages Delighted By Enslavement Of Topsy The Elephant


New Eco-Friendly Cigarettes Kill Destructive Human Beings Over Time

ALRIGHT!!! *thumbs up!*




Man Pledges Loyalty To Brand In Quiet Convenience Store Ceremony



Congressmen Submit Emergency 3 AM Bill Demanding IHOP Stay Open All Night


Sandy, I Wrote This Op-Ed About Reducing American Dependency On Foreign Oil Just For You

by Steve Bloomquist




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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Weakly World News and Only In Northern Michigan

Campers Flood Campgrounds for Holiday
Campers say, that the swimming pool is " just not enough"...

Traverse City Hosts Growing Marathon
Anyone with Gigantism please apply at City Hall.

Bayshore Marathon Boosts TC Economy
Mercy knows that they needed a new gas station....

Blood Workers Strike Red Cross in Labor Dispute
Vampires everywhere panic and hoard for famine...

Mesick Mushroom Festival Gets a Second Chance
...By the way...The Mushroom festival is also the way that "Mesick" got it's name.
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Glow from Mars Creates Problems in Transylvania | Weekly World News

Glow from Mars Creates Problems in Transylvania | Weekly World News

GLENN BECK MOCKS MALIA OBAMA | Weekly World News

GLENN BECK MOCKS MALIA OBAMA | Weekly World News

Caption of the moment

By Dirigo:


Meanwhile, in the Gulf of Mexico...

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