Monday, September 28, 2009

Incredible pictures!

The one with the pop bottle is ingenious. The one with the channel locks reminds me of what we had to do in our bathtub for years till we finally fixed it.
The one with the hot dogs is interesting and somewhat smart...And the one with the breaker in the swimming pool is just plain dangerous!

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Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach - "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

Thursday, September 24, 2009

And even more captions....



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The Onion and Who was that crazy guy at the U.N.?

George W. Bush Chuckles To Self Upon Thinking About How He Was President Of The United States For Almost A Decade

DALLAS—'Huh,' uttered the amused former world leader, reflecting upon how for eight years he controlled the executive branch.

Spatial Skills Abandon Area Man During Search For Correct Tupperware Lid

WATERVILLE, ME—The ability to judge different sizes and shapes was inexplicably lost on Waterville resident John Wyatt on Tuesday as he struggled to find the correct lid for a plastic container of chicken salad.


_________________________________________________________________________________________________
More on the crazy man seen wearing a moo moo at the United Nations....

http://www.connectmidmichigan.com/

Gadhafi slams Security Council in 1st UN visit
Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi slams Security Council, calls it 'terror council'
*******************************************************************************************************

Where's my gun?

I straddle this line between love and hate…

Everyday it seems I straddle it like an uneasy horse.

I stand at the mirror and wonder

How long I can straddle the line and still maintain my own sanity…

I straddle this line between love and hate…

I straddle it like a rickety fence in the back of a lot

Of broken cars and bikes that have been discarded…

Where's my gun? Oh, yea, it's good I don't have bullets for my gun…

Because it could make the difference.


-Sharon Shrum Kindig

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

News that's fit to read....Sometimes....




Gadhafi slams Security Council in 1st UN visit
or

Adam Sandler does the Grandma song:

Jabawokee ding dong
Slip slap slee
Dipstick paddywhack
Pee pee googalee gee
Polly wolly sling slang
Skooey dibbely doo
Wing wong ping pong King Kong Cheech 'n Chong
Hop hip kagagoogoo
Hickory dickory slickory flip flap
Dip skip to my Lou
Flim flam wham blam Sam bam Cunningham
Whack snack koochie koochie koo


See whole story here.

I just kept thinking, is it me or is this some kind of cultural thing I'm missing?
I'm one of those people who are pretty understanding and will usually try to "get" a culture before condemning it but I was having some troubles here....
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Senate condemns release of Lockerbie bomber
No kidding? Really?
I gotta tell ya, Scotland, your not makin me a fan. I mean, I'm part Scottish and I'm ready to dye my hair brown from red and throw my kilt into our fire pit.
Really upsets me too because well, I'm from the clan Drummond and we're suppose to be pretty loyal....So ....It's taking a lot for me to get to this point with ya but,
this vexes me-I'm terribly vexed!
See the whole story here


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NO PORN FOR YOU!!!

Pornogr@phy @t libr@ry?

Is filtering censorship?

By Dan Armstrong
Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 3:17 p.m.

A hot debate comes to a peak in Owosso. The question, should computers at a public library have unfiltered internet access?

The debate got started when a 10-year-old girl told her grandmother she saw a man viewing adult material at a library computer.

Some say, adults should be able to access unfiltered internet at the library.

Others say, it's an issue of child safety, and they don't want their tax dollars paying for porn.

Ronald DeHaas, president of Covenant Eyes, an internet accountability company in Owosso, and supporter of internet filtering at public libraries says, "Censorship is a harsh word, but the fact is, every library in Michigan practices censorship. If you go down to our library and ask 'Where is your pornography section?' We don't have one. There isn't one."

DeHaas says, what's good for books is good for the internet. "I don't like the word censorship. I look at it as community standards. That's what it is. Our community standards is that certain books do not appear in our library. All I'm asking is that we have the same standard for the sites that are on the computers on my tax dollars."



Hua....
Well, when I was a tech we didn't allow porn on our computers either, mostly because of the virus's that come with most porn sites. But also because it's sexist and wrong.
This really shouldn't even be an issue where the general public is concerned, because it's not a book. This really isn't literature, as we know it, and it's not research- porn isn't even art to be honest. There is nothing beautiful behind porn. And if you don't think so, look at the baleful, blank eyes of most girls have after posing for porno pictures or starring in porno movies. That really does tell the story.
They aren't really happy about it....They were just paid....


______________________________________________________________
I guess the painkillers wipe out your memory along with your ethics.
Keith Olbermann



Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Will Ferrell, Mad Men's Jon Hamm, Mock Insurance Execs, Push Public Option - Political Punch

Will Ferrell, Mad Men's Jon Hamm, Mock Insurance Execs, Push Public Option - Political Punch

Shared via AddThis

Only in Northern Michigan


Traverse City police arrested a man suspected of breaking into a woman's home as she was rocking her newborn baby. The break-in happened on Fern Street around 4:20 Saturday morning. The woman heard her kitchen door open then saw the stranger. She ran to get her husband, who got his handgun and held the man at gunpoint while the police were called.

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Muther of TODD! It's FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!!!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Only at Central Michigan Michigan and Snopes!

ONLY AT CENTRAL MICHIGAN University!

http://www.9and10news.com or, "Now and Then News".


CMU Students Say Today's Tailgate Was "Worst Turnout Ever"

It was a very different scene at the CMU tailgate party today. With a new set of tailgating rules in place this year, many upset students decided to tailgate elsewhere.


That's a friggin tragedy if you ask me....

____________________________________________

*SNOPES*

Old trick, new scam....
http://www.snopes.com/fraud/telephone/btscam.asp

Coming to a Capital near you....ISLAM!!! Thank you, Thank you...We'll be here all week...Try the lamb kabobs!
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/capitolislam.asp

Not nearly a virus just a really annoyingly bad application...
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/fancheck.asp

She will love you long time Joe....Lucky No# 12,3,21,45,6
http://www.snopes.com/luck/lottery/married.asp


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Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.
Mel Brooks

Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Plethora of annoyances for your discernment! ONLY IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN, The Onion headlines and FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!



http://www.theonion.com/content/node/97977
WASHINGTON—In what government officials are calling a stirring testament to the leadership and foresight of late U.S. president Ronald Reagan, nearly $20 trillion in low denomination bills were discovered this week buried in the White House Rose Garden.
Sealed in hundreds of old mason jars, crumpled shoe boxes, socks, metal tins, and oven mitts, the financial windfall is believed to have been stashed away by Regan, then 76, during his second term.
____________________________________________________
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/97947
Outrageous Pictionary Drawing To Go Down In Area Family Lore

September 14, 2009 | Issue 45•38

IONIA, MI—A heated game night Pictionary match at the Anderson household ended memorably this past Friday, just moments after Aunt Denise somehow managed to guess Uncle Don's clumsily drawn sketch of a carburetor, in what family sources are calling "one for the record books."
"It was just so funny," Caroline Anderson said of the game-winning drawing, a crude, misshapen scribble that those present could not believe resulted in a correct response. "Here's this weird thing that looks like something a kid would draw, and all of a sudden Denise throws up her hands and yells, 'Carburetor!'"

________________________________________
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/97834
A Smoove Evening

By Smoove B
Love Man

September 10, 2009 | Issue 45•37
The last year has been full of challenges and heartbreak for Smoove B. His one true girl continues to ignore his many heartfelt pleas to join together again like two stars that have collided in outer space and formed one larger, red-hot star. It fills Smoove with much sadness and causes him to take long, slow walks in the rain, but Smoove has to accept the fact that she will not be coming back to him.

The plan to seduce Michelle Obama in both body and soul has also not moved forward during the last few months. She and her people have stopped returning Smoove's phone calls, and his letters, and the elaborately arranged fruit sculptures he has assembled from the earth's most exotic produce.

Also, I think I am on some kind of FBI watch list now.

___________________________________________
Sent to me by a good friend and capper Cyberbeast ....

http://peopleofwalmart.com/?paged=5
Strangly not surprised coming from Oklahoma....
What kind of example of a man are you giving the child in the cart?

http://peopleofwalmart.com/?paged=11
http://peopleofwalmart.com/?paged=7

__________________________________

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!

It's not too far from Michigan....She's probably from like Gaylord or something...Maybe she was so engrossed in the character that she was thinking, "Well what would a Gorilla do?"

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/banana_thief_gorilla_suit_september_8_2009

 
Banana Thief in Gorilla Suit Not Charged
Fond Du Lac will not extradite woman

Published : Tuesday, 08 Sep 2009, 8:40 AM CDT

FOND DU LAC, Wis. - A woman wanted for stealing a styrofoam banana from a gas station in Wisconsin while wearing a gorilla suit will not be charged.

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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Snope me out! And From The Desk of Pete Yates!

Stop making census!
http://www.snopes.com/fraud/identity/census.asp

Not until they stop making me put it at half mast every other day....
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/tributes/flytheflag.asp

*SCAM*
http://www.snopes.com/fraud/phishing/unreported.asp

Okay, say again? Wha?
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/patboone.asp

Prayers for Sam Bish
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/prayer/bish.asp

Missing Child
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/missing/reachelle.asp

I'm buying some wasp spray!
http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/waspspray.asp

And FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!

Tolstoy? No thanks, I've eaten....
http://www.newsweek.com/id/214585

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~Cats meow at me; they want to make me feed them.

However, they will not get meat today….~

Pablo Picasso  - "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."

Thursday, September 10, 2009

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES! and Onion stuff...


FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!!!

As a side note, if these were my kids, they'd be barred from Facebook and Twitter. (I don't tweet, but I've been known to toot on occasion.)
----------------------------------------------------

http://www.switched.com/2009/09/08/endangered-pre-teens-update-facebook-status-instead-of-dialing-9/

Tweens in Peril Update Facebook Status Instead of Dialing 911

by Terrence O'Brien (RSS feed) — Sep 8th 2009 at 1:31PM


If you were trapped or lost in a storm drain, but still had cell phone reception, how would you reach out for help? Perhaps call 911, or its equivalent? We're sure you wouldn't rely on updating your Facebook status.

But that's exactly what a pair of girls in Adelaide, Australia did when they wandered into just such a drain Sunday. The 10- and 12-year-old girls used their cell phones to update their statuses on the social networking site in order to let friends know they were lost under the streets of their suburban neighborhood. The Metropolitan Fire Service (MFS) rescued the girls, but only after their friends had called 000, the Australian equivalent of 911.
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http://www.tdn.com/articles/2009/09/10/area_news/doc4aa89a2ba9f51022518206.txt

Police shut down kick-for-cash operation at Triangle Center
Wednesday, September 9, 2009 11:33 PM PDT
By The Daily News

A Rainier man came up with an innovative — if rather painful — money-making idea and decided to give it a test run Tuesday at the Triangle Center in Longview.

The 23-year-old man held a sign inviting people to kick him in the groin for the bargain price of $5.
He got off lightly compared with a Canadian man who, in 2007, asked women in Guelph, Ontario, to do the same thing to him at no charge. According to a Canadian newspaper, one of the women kicked him repeatedly.

I would love to do that to Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck.There are a couple of women on there I'd like to do that with as well, but I'm afraid they'd like it.

Joe Wilson needs to have that done to him and he needs be slapped by The Speaker of the House.

Nancy Pelosi looked like she was gonna jump out of her seat and run over there and do that for a hot second there.

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♫ Pyscho killer....♫ The onion....

You Follow One Kid Home, Rip Out His Eyes And All The Sudden You're A 'Killer' Squirrel

By Danny the Squirrel
September 3, 2009 | Issue 45•36


I'm a happy-go-lucky squirrel who loves living the good life of climbing trees and eating nuts. Mostly eating nuts. Man! I can't get enough of them. So tasty. But let's make one thing clear, right here and now: I have never killed anyone.

Look at me! I'm a squirrel, for crying out loud. How am I going to kill a human being? Even if I wanted to, it would be impossible. "Killer Squirrel?" Please. It's just a cruel name made up by lazy journalists who want to move papers.

The truth is that the "attack" in question was merely the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding between myself and a young boy with a bag of peanuts, who remains alive and well to this day. Does he have both eyes? No. Is he blind? Absolutely not! They were able to surgically re-insert the left eye, and he has about 40 percent of his sight in the right one.

So you tell me: How does that make me a killer?


Teens Don't Tweet

A survey by Nielsen found that only 16 percent of Twitter users were under 25. What do you think?


Theresa Siegfried,
Desk Clerk
"Isn't that the same percentage of teens who would respond to a Nielsen survey?"


Jody Phillips,
Systems Analyst
"It's nice to know that my incisive musings and humorous takes on waiting in lines, reality TV, and my cat's behavior are reaching the mature and sophisticated audience they were intended for."


Marshall Christensen,
Marketing Consultant
"That's because teens today are too busy texting! I saw it on the news."


@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*

~Film, as far as I'm concerned, is my area of artistic endeavor, so I never think of a movie that gets released as being all done-it's just when they took it away from you.
John Dykstra~

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES! A couple of stories "In The News"


http://www.nypost.com/p/news/regional/brooklyn/so_much_for_packing_um_rod_jXKO6I6jK3RgVNDNWClDoI

 

 

So much for packing a, um, rod

 

By JAMIE SCHRAM

Last Updated: 3:53 AM, September 8, 2009

Posted: 2:44 AM, September 8, 2009


It's a lesson he should have learned from Plaxico Burress -- but this was worse.

 

A 15-year-old Brooklyn boy shot himself in the penis Sunday after fumbling with a gun that had slid from his waistband, authorities said yesterday.

 


Holey....Um...Holey.....
Really can't say anything more than that, other than possibly my mother worried that my grandfather was going to do that to himself one time when he put his gun in his pants and searched our house. Of course only my mom....


-----------------------------------

 

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?Biscuits_injuring_millions_of_Britons&in_article_id=732902&in_page_id=34

 

 

Biscuits injuring millions of Britons

Monday, September 7, 2009

 

Oh crumbs – it seems up to half of all Britons have been injured... by a humble biscuit.

Flying fragments and daredevil dunking in scalding tea have all led to millions suffering at the hands of their favourite snack, according to fun research.

 

Among the more unusual – and daft – injuries are a man who poked himself in the eye with a biscuit and people who have fallen off chairs while reaching for a tea-time treat.

 

One biscuit in particular was ruled more dangerous than the rest – the custard cream, which received a risk rating of 5.63 by research company Mindlab using the newly invented Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation (Bite).

 

This compares with just 1.16 for the safe Jaffa Cake.

 

(and Pete says: NOTE!  I think I like the second story better, if only for the Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation ratings.)

Well, that's how the cookie doesn't crumble I guess....
Concrete Cannolis Batman!



Monday, September 7, 2009

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!!! AND ONLY IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN and SNOPES!!!

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!!!


Makes me proud to live in Western Washington....


http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2009/sep/04/bremerton-men-accused-of-getting-naked-and-loud/?partner=RSS

 

Bremerton Men Accused of Getting Naked and Loud

 

BREMERTON

Kitsap Sun staff

Police were called to Mountain View Drive early Friday to investigate reports of intoxicated men urinating on cars.

While officers were en route, the men allegedly got undressed.

Witnesses said one was completely naked, one wasn't wearing any pants and they couldn't see the third man because the other two were on top of him, they said. The witnesses said they heard somebody yell "return of the Jedi" while the three were naked and entwined.




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And so that we all can be proud:
Only in Northern Michigan!


http://www.9and10news.com Northern Michigan's Finest News *burp* Source.


In Otsego County, troopers arrested two people, on suspicion of stealing a backpack from a couple on the beach at Otsego Lake State Park.
__________________________________________

SNOPES!

http://www.snopes.com/photos/natural/chaiten.asp
Pretty cool.


Thursday, September 3, 2009

Onion soup

Pack Of Harpies Ordered Their Crostini Literally 20 Minutes Ago

WILMINGTON, DE—According to sources at local restaurant Deep Blue, a table of four harpies perched near the window emitted shrill, ungodly shrieks Thursday when their demand for crostini remained unfulfilled after nearly half an hour.


This happens a lot around here.....

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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

From The Desk of Pete Yates! and don't eat cookie dough....What's wrong with you?

http://www.jacksonsun.com/article/20090901/NEWS01/90901043/0/www.jacksonsun.com/-Dog-makes-meal-of-NC-deputy-cruiser-s-4-tires

 

Dog makes meal of NC deputy cruiser's 4 tires

HOPE MILLS, N.C. (AP) — Some dogs chase cars.

 

One in a North Carolina town decided to try and eat one.

 

The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office says a pit bull deflated all four tires of a deputy's cruiser near Hope Mills on Sunday.

Spokeswoman Debbie Tanna says the deputy parked his car in a woman's driveway while responding to her complaint about another dog.

When Deputy Lynn Lavallis went to speak with Gloria Bass, the dog chomped into the tires. The dog didn't attack the deputy in the town near Fayetteville.

Tanna says the dog's owner, Bass's next-door neighbor, will be billed $500 for a new set of wheels.

_______________________________________________


LAS VEGAS -- In Room 519 of Kindred Hospital, Linda Rivera can no longer speak.

Her mute state, punctuated only by groans, is the latest downturn in the swift collapse of her health that began in May when she curled up on her living room couch and nonchalantly ate several spoonfuls of the Nestlé cookie dough her family had been consuming for years. Federal health officials believe she is among 80 people in 31 states sickened by cookie dough contaminated with a deadly bacteria, E. coli O157:H7.

The impact of the infection has been especially severe for Rivera and nine other victims who developed a life-threatening complication known as hemolytic uremic syndrome. One, a 4-year-old girl from South Carolina, had a stroke and is partially paralyzed.

The E. coli victims are among millions -- one in four Americans -- sickened by food-borne illnesses each year. As waves of recalls have caused the public to lose confidence in the safety of food, lawmakers are scrambling to respond. In July, the House approved legislation that would give the Food and Drug Administration broad new powers and place new responsibilities on food producers. The bill would speed up the ability of health officials to track down the source of an outbreak and give the government the power to mandate a recall, rather than rely on food producers to voluntarily pull tainted products from the shelves.

The Senate is expected to take up its version in the fall, and the issue has become a high priority for the White House.

It is impossible to say whether new laws and tougher enforcement would have prevented the contamination of the Nestlé cookie dough, which the company voluntarily pulled from stores hours after the government linked it to the outbreak.


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Tuesday, September 1, 2009

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!

Out of NW Florida...

 


http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/hooters-20183-bed-runs.html

 

Customer runs out on Hooters bill, hides under bed

 

August 31, 2009 1:21 PM
Tosha Sketo
Daily News

CRESTVIEW – An Alabama man was accused of retail theft after skipping out on a $188 bar bill at the Crestview Hooters.

 

A Hooters employee told an officer from the Crestview Police Department that she had confronted the man with the rising bill, and he told her that he would pay for it. When the server went back to his table after presenting the ticket, he was gone. No money was left.

 

The man, who is 23, had told the server he was staying at the Super 8 Motel. The officer contacted the motel and spoke with one of the man's co-workers, who advised that the perpetrator was staying in room 145.

 

A man in room 145, as well as people in all five rooms the man's employer had rented, told the officer that they didn't know the location of the perpetrator at the time, according to his Crestview Police Department arrest report.

 

After all the trucks used by the perpetrator's employer had left the motel, the officer observed the door of room 145 open slightly and close abruptly.

After knocking and announcing himself, the officer received no response, but saw a shadow moving back or forth in the window.

 

The officer then called for the front desk clerk to open the door. He found the perpetrator lying on his back, on the floor, under the trundle bed, according to the incident report.

 

The perpetrator told the officer that he did not know the bill wasn't paid for when he left. He stated that several people were drinking with him, and he did not think his bill should've been that high. He stated that he hid under the bed because he was scared.

 

The Alabama man was arrested and charged with resisting an officer without violence and retail theft.

He stated that he hid under the bed because he was scared.....
I myself have that reaction to Hooters....


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FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES! & Only in Northern Michigan

Local... from the PI website...

 

http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattle911/archives/177885.asp

 

Bellevue police report that officers were called to an apartment in the 4700 block of 148th Avenue Northeast on Sunday night about a possible burglary.

 

But the culprit may have been a washing machine.

 

Items had been tossed around in laundry room, but nothing was missing.

 

Police believe that an overloaded washing machine may have been at fault.

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CHARLEVOIX COUNTY BUSINESS IS OPEN AFTER BREAK-IN
A Charlevoix County hardware store is open for business this morning, but
some of their merchandise is missing.  The business break-in happened
early Sunday morning in Boyne City.  The owner of Boyne Co-op True Value
Hardware says the thieves got in by busting a hole in this side door. They
used a saw to try to open a safe, but weren't successful.  They did manage
to steal several small hunting knives, and poured motor oil and toilet
bowl cleaner into the Minnow tank, killing the bait supply.
 If you have
any information, call the Boyne City Police.


Muther of Todd.
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~Cats meow at me; they want to make me feed them.
However, they will not get meat today….~

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By Dirigo:


Meanwhile, in the Gulf of Mexico...

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