HOT!!! Onions!

	Hillary Clinton Launches Intimidating New Fragrance Line   CHAPPAQUA, NY—Unveiling a bold scent described by its manufacturer as 'steely, bracing, and curt, with notes of patent leather, sandalwood, and wool serge,' Secretary of State Hillary Clinton launched her own line of soaps, eaux de toilette, and body splashes Thursday. The new fragrance, called 'Authorité,' was designed to evoke the olfactory equivalent of sensible shoes clicking purposefully down a marble-tiled hallway. 'Our distinguished parfumeurs—and, more importantly, Madame Secretary—have created exactly the right tone, a scent that brooks no argument,' spokesperson Etienne Falbaum said. 'This is a controlled, competent, and, above all, patient essence that makes men sit up, take notice, and not speak until spoken to.' Advertising inserts scented with Authorité will be featured in upcoming editions of Elle, The Economist, and The New York Review of Books.

	I'm Not One Of Those Insecure Generals Who Needs To Win A Lot Of Battles Gen. Edward P. Montgomery

Spam A Global Warming Issue

According to security technology company McAfee, the amount of energy used to produce, send, and filter spam each year creates as much greenhouse gas as 3.1 million cars. What do you think?

Amy Oliver,
Data Base Administrator
"It's a small price to pay. I like that someone, somewhere, is interested in me."

Bob Dolak,
Systems Analyst
"That's terrible. I'm going to unsubscribe from spam immediately."

Travis Laskaris,
Activities Director
"I guess now would be a bad time to admit that I check my e-mail while doing doughnuts in a Hummer."

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Dan Quayle  - "I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."