Universe Admits To Wronging Area Man His Entire Life 12.01.10 MINNEAPOLIS—Following decades of allegations from the 44-year-old data processor, the vast conglomeration of all matter and energy known as the universe admitted Tuesday that it was directly responsible for every single hardship in the life of Dave Schwartz, and apologized for continually foiling him at every turn. | |
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Color-Coded Alert System Canceled
'That's probably for the best. I was getting sick of forgetting to check the advisory before traveling.'
Ask A Travel Agent Trying To Hold On To His Last Client
by Peter Sartell
Dear Travel Agent Trying To Hold On To His Last Client, Nothing would make me happier than finally organizing my garage, but the back wall is cluttered with dozens of old, half-empty cans of paint and wood stain. Getting rid of these eyesores would...
Acid Trip Better Planned Than Vacation
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