Halloween Snopes

Was an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents suppressed for being 'too horrifying'?
YEP.
Information about restaurant chains offering free meals to U.S. military personnel in conjunction with Veterans Day.
A yep!
Image purportedly used in a 1979 Pakistan airline advertisement shows the shadow of a jetliner on the World Trade Center towers.
Not cool!
How to send holiday cards to U.S. service members and veterans through the "Holiday Mail for Heroes" program.
Cool!
Weather maps with some unusually suggestive shapes.
OH MY!

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Onion me

Yard Sign With Candidate's Name On It Electrifies Congressional Race. http://mobile.theonion.com/articles/yard-sign-with-candidates-name-on-it-electrifies-c,18321/?mobile=true. ______________________________________
Sony Stops Making Walkman 'But what if I need to convince a coma patient that it's 1985?'
http://mobile.theonion.com/articles/sony-stops-making-walkman,18348/?mobile=true. ------------------------------------------------------
My Opponent Knows Where Washington Is On A Map; I Don't, And I Never Will....by Ron Johnson

"As your Republican nominee for U.S. Senate, I'm grateful to have this opportunity to reach out to the people of Wisconsin and draw some distinctions between myself—a D.C.". http://mobile.theonion.com/articles/my-opponent-knows-where-washington-is-on-a-map-i-d,18330/?mobile=true. _______________________________________
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NYTimes: 48th Is Not a Good Place

From The New York Times:

48th Is Not a Good Place (and no one is kidding)...

The quality of math and science education in the United States remains grim and must be improved. ...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/26/opinion/26tue2.html

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Only In Northern Michigan

Electricity Coming to Remote Area of Chippewa Co. http://www.9and10news.com/Category/Story/?id=264019&cID=1 Seriously? I knew people around here were about thirty years behind everyone else-but what's next? Troops being sent to Europe to fight Gerry?
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The more wretched Onion

Cockroach King Concerned Over Recent Rise Of Bedbugs 10.20.10

GRAND IMPERIAL THRONE ROOM, CASTLE ROACH—His Royal Highness, King Leopold Blattodea IV, undisputed lord and ruler of the cockroaches, expressed dismay and concern Monday that the recent rise in bedbug populations could threaten his sovereignty over the realm of human squalor.

American Public Actually Kind Of Endearing In Some Ways

Feds 'Friending' People On Facebook To Spy

'That would probably explain all those videos in my feed of Keyboard Cat playing off deportees.'

Hey, Come On In, Sorry About All The Dead Pets

by Dorothy Goodman

Hello, hello, so good to see you! Please, come in! Did you have any trouble finding the house? The turn comes up quickly after you make the right on Lake Street, so some people end up driving right past it.

Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres

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Only in Northern Michigan and ONION POWER!!!

4 Foot Long Snake Found Behind Traverse City Business

A woman's screams led police to a slithery discovery last night behind a Traverse City business.....

I'm saying nothing...

___________________ONION_________________________

Congress Sets Sail In Search Of Fabled Sword Of Bipartisanship 10.13.10

WASHINGTON 裕housands thronged the docks of the capital seaport last week to watch as Congressmen boarded galleys and set sail in search of the Lost Sword of Bipartisanship, a holy relic that according to legend has the power to restore collegial relations and procedural harmony to the legislative branch.

8-Year-Old Asian Mix Wins Westminster Boy Show

Art World Relieved As Thieves Steal Pretty Terrible Late Period Renoir Work

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Ooops she did it again...

Buses rerouted due to funky smell...

http://www.9and10news.com/Category/Story/?id=260769&cID=1 Odor Causes Buses to Reroute: Elementary were rerouted away from school this morning when the principal sensed a funny smell.

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Tweet from @TheOnion

@TheOnion: In Focus: Pudding-Factory Disaster Brings Slow, Creamy Death To Town Below http://onion.com/959TRF

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Tweet from @TheOnion

@TheOnion: 'Stargate SG-1' Fans Disappointed To See Richard Dean Anderson Walk Onto Stage Like A Normal Person http://onion.com/cFAIWK

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The world is officially ending...

Finally! Lions win. http://www.themorningsun.com/articles/2010/10/11/sports/doc4cb24c0dc5455570470074.txt
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Stop complaining about your job....

Only in Northern Michigan

GREG NELSON: Looking for love in all the wrong places
Dude.Really?

Botulism is Back: Dead Birds Expected on Lake Michigan Shoreline
Someone best be telling them to stop drinking the Lake Michigan water.

OIL SPILL UPDATE: Clean-Up Continues At Cheboygan County Beach
Or the game of "Wack a Oil Spill" continues unabated.
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Snopes

A one-year-old girl named Gabrielle Dahm is missing from her home in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

About the process of producing mechanically separated chicken.
Eww.

Information about the spread and extermination of bedbugs.
Oh bigger Eww!!!

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Alien cows

I believe these cows may be aliens.
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Muther of Onion

97-Year-Old Dies Unaware Of Being Violin Prodigy

Area Woman Has More Than 200 Products To Help Calm Her

Postal Rate Increase Denied

'They do have a terrible business model. They should go into landscaping instead.'

Struggling Museum Now Allowing Patrons To Touch Paintings

Letters To The Editor »
Dear The Onion,
I enjoyed your article on Julie Benz's summer home in the Hamptons so much that I left it dog-eared on the subway for others to enjoy.
If you receive any letters thanking someone for doing this, please forward them to me.

— Tom Rivers, New York

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More Wretched Snopes

Do photographs show an SUV impaled by a guardrail?
Yep, they sure do...

*VIRUS* New variant of the 'Package Delivery Failure' virus masquerades as USPS delivery notices.*VIRUS*
There's good news tonight.

Photographs purportedly show activists displaying defaced U.S. and Arizona flags during a protest over an Arizona immigration law.
*sigh*

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The Onion...hates me....*sniff*

Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile

Bush Still Working On Manned Mission To Mars Quietly In Spare Time

Expired Medicines Collected By DEA

There Was Definitely A Point During That Stoning Where We All Thought, 'Is This Weird?'

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Ooops she did it again...