Only in Northern Michigan....

Nothin more dangerous than a Northern Red Neck.
Open a Pabst Blue Ribbon and kick back and take a gander at these....If you can read....

A COUPLE ARRESTED IN EMMET COUNTY ASSAULT
Police arrested a couple they say broke into an Emmet County home and
attacked the people who lived there. Police say the husband and wife
intruders knew the roommates living in the house, but weren't on speaking
terms. (So, these were friends of theirs...Ho boy...) The break-in happened Wednesday morning at a house near Harbor
Springs. Police say John and Kimberly Gratch got into the house through
an unlocked door. (these were friends of theirs, probably were watching their boxed set of "My name is Earl") When asked to leave, the couple started attacking the
victims. Police caught the husband and wife a few minutes after they
left. During the arrest, police say Kimberly Gratch kicked a trooper and
two deputies.

*My hand goes over my face and I hide my despair.*
I'm so proud.
Lord, help my state.

THIEVES STEAL BOAT IN MECOSTA COUNTY
Police believe about five people took part in stealing a boat in Mecosta
County. Deputies say the boat was stolen from the Muskegon River near 12
Mile Road and 183rd Avenue in Mecosta Township. It happened last night
around 10:00. They say it was a 14-foot aluminum flat bottom boat. The
thieves also stole the 5-horsepower motor that was on the boat.

.....Ah, YE FRICKEN HA! Let's get hopped up on gasoline fumes and steal a boat...Cuz there's just so much to be done with a 5 horsepower motor and an aluminum boat...Like, fishin....Yeah, we're not red necks....Pass me a Pabst.
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~This is what Kid Rock wants to sing about? That whole concept frightens me.~