Snopest and Liver and Onion

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/prayer/bish.asp
This one is real

http://www.snopes.com/racial/business/cuddlewithme.asp
Ooo, not good.


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Dog Humiliated In Front Of Entire Park


August 24, 2009 | Issue 45•35
Article Tools


CONCORD, NH—Banjo, a local border collie mix and loyal human companion, was utterly humiliated Tuesday, when his owner, 34-year-old Michael Ingram, loudly scolded the dog right in the middle of Cold Brook Park.
"Down, boy, down! What did I tell you about barking at those birds?" yelled Ingram, the dog's supposed best friend, right in front of several other dogs, many of whom Banjo knew. "Look at me, Banjo. No more of that, okay? Just knock it off."

The mortifying scene, which included several heated utterances of "bad dog" and "very bad dog," as well as an extremely uncomfortable moment in which Ingram ordered the already self-conscious border collie to sit, lasted nearly 20 seconds.

According to park regular Morgan Studemeyer, the humiliating incident was "painful and difficult" to watch, as Ingram reportedly aired the couple's dirty laundry in plain view, and even made things personal by taking Banjo's favorite stick
away from him.




Socialites Without Borders Teach Rwandans How To Mingle


August 25, 2009 | Issue 45•35
KIGALI, RWANDA—In an effort to provide relief to a people devastated by civil war, genocide, and poverty, members of the humanitarian aid group Socialites Without Borders spent several hours this week teaching destitute Rwandans how to mingle.



Market Evidently Capable Of Supporting More Than One Reality Show About Cake


August 26, 2009 | Issue 45•35

CHICAGO—Though the stock market remains shaky and consumer spending has reached a standstill, the U.S. economy is apparently still robust enough to produce nearly half a dozen television shows about cake. "This flies in the face of basic economic theory," University of Chicago economist John Holloway said Friday, referring to such programs as Ace Of Cakes, Cake Boss, and Last Cake Standing. "Despite the worst recession in a generation, these shows somehow make enough money to pay for sets, celebrity hosts, producers, camera crews—not to mention the cakes themselves—all so people can see a dessert that looks like a Dr. Seuss character." Holloway made it clear, however, that no known mathematical model has yet been able to explain why in the heck anyone would watch those Real Housewives Of Whatever show...


Calley Apologizes For My Lai Massacre


Lt. William Calley, the only soldier to be held legally accountable for the 1968 massacre at My Lai, Vietnam, apologized in a speech to the Kiwanis Club of Greater Columbus, GA. What do you think?


JoBeth Straschnoy,
Garage Door Hanger
"Good, now Vietnam has to apologize for beating us."


Dennis Phillips-Sandy,
Beating-Machine Operator
"It's about time the Kiwanis Club received some kind of recognition for the atrocities committed against them during the Vietnam War."


Thomas Glander,
Systems Analyst
"That's not good enough for me. I won't be satisfied until Calley personally apologizes in front of my local Rotary Club."



Wave To Everyone Who Passes By Or Get Off My Boat


By Elliot Foster
August 20, 2009 | Issue 45•34
Ok, that is it. I'm cutting the engines. We are not moving from this spot until one thing is made perfectly clear: Every single person aboard The Relaxer will wave exuberantly at anyone we pass or anyone who passes us, whether they are on shore or aboard another watercraft of any type, from cigarette boat on down to canoe. No exceptions.

If you cannot follow this one rule—a rule that everyone else out here on Keuka Lake seems to have no problem adhering to—then you can get the heck off my boat.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Only In Northern Michigan

POLICE: CLARE COUNTY MAN FINDS GRENADE IN FRONT YARD
Clare County deputies had to call in the Bomb Squad when a man found a
hand grenade in his front yard.  It happened in the Lake of the Pines
subdivision in Freeman Township around 3:30 Monday.  Police say the
homeowner tied a string around the suspected explosive and carried it to
his home.  They verified it was, in fact, a hand grenade.  They evacuated
the area, closed off traffic, and called in the Bomb Squad.  Experts
determined it was real, but inactive.  They disposed of it.
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SWINE FLU!!! ...And other pleasantries-FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!!! And THE ODD COMMERCIAL!!!

From my dear friend MEQAL whom we shall call MEQAL: OUR ALIEN OVERLORD!
Remember the mass panic a few months ago about Swine Flu? Schools closing, travel advisories, and other forms of panic? Well apparently it has passed. In Alabama this week they announced on Thursday that the state health department would no longer try to confirm cases of Swine Flu and even went as far as to issue a statement that tells doctors and patients that if they have flu like symptoms then they have Swine Flu. It's pretty much like they are saying to all the people who panicked, screw you and get over it you baby.
In all fairness, the Alabama Department of Health is claiming the reason they are stopping the testing to confirm Swine Flu cases is that they are severely overwhelmed by the number of cases being sent for confirmation. Apparently they have more requests for confirmation tests than they can handle. Thus they decided to take the blanket statement of all cases of flu like symptoms are Swine Flu cases and if you have flu like symptoms, you need to stay home. Those who don't have flu like symptoms should avoid those who do when possible and take germ transferring precautions like washing hands.

So who wants to visit Alabama right now?

----And so, this is the reply from my dear friend RICKUBIS who we will call RICKUBIS: MOTHER NATURES SON!

I'm really sorry to hear that. Actually "Swine Flu" is a typo in reports from Alabama. The correct spelling is "Zombie Plague". They're quarantining the state even now.

Rick

And you all thought I was crazy....Let's see who's crazy when they come for you and me and mine are safely in The Menards store in town, boarding up windows and eating cheese puffs......

_________________________________________________________________

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!!!!

I have GOT to see this movie when it comes out!

The Candiru fish is almost bad enough to make me never fully immerse myself in water ever again. I bolded the paragraph about it (about halfway down).

*******************************************************************************************************

I SWAM THE AMAZON

• 
• 

By Sharon Van Geuns

That's 3,274 miles, swimming 10 hours a day for 66 days.. on two bottles of wine a day *or 196,440 lengths of your average pool

He's middle-aged, his ample belly bulges over his Speedos... and he thinks drinking two bottles of wine a day keeps him in shape.

Swimmer Martin Strel would be the first to admit he makes the unlikeliest of athletes.

But the 55-year-old harddrinking Slovenian just happens to be the greatest endurance swimmer in the world... ever.

He claimed the title by conquering the world's most dangerous river - the Amazon - swimming 3,274 miles in 66 days, non-stop.

"It helps to be a little crazy, to do what I do," Martin admits. "I told myself that I would swim the Amazon or I would die trying.

"I'm a big man, sure, but the Amazon is so much bigger."

The astonishing story of courage and determination is the subject of a new movie, Big River Man, which opens across the UK next month.

The enthralling film sees Martin brave the constant threat of piranhas, crocodiles and the horrifying candiru fish.

He also had to battle through tropical storms and blistering heat, as well as facing murderous bandits and machetewielding native tribes.

Add unrelenting diarrhoea to that catalogue of horrors and you get an idea of the type of man Martin is, tackling each obstacle with sheer bloody-mindedness... and a healthy dose of alcohol.

But even as he tells how his doctor warned him to give up drinking to lessen the risk of heart attack, Martin simply cracks open another bottle of red, washing it down with a whisky and some beer.

"I told the doctor I have to drink, I have to swim - I am Martin!" says the part-time guitar teacher.

As a child, he used to leap into the icy river near his home to escape beatings by his father, but he didn't begin serious endurance swimming until 1992.

His first challenge saw him conquer the 65-mile Krka river in his homeland in 28 hours

.

He then swam the English Channel and became the first man to swim across the Mediterranean. Seven men had already died in the attempt, either drowned or eaten by sharks. He then took on the Danube, before swimming the Mississippi, the Argentine Parana and the Yangtze in China, an experience which left his liver black. He also swam London's River Thames last year, although its risks were somewhat less than the Yangtze.

Martin says: "The Thames was a little easier to swim than other rivers. I thought it was a very nice, clean river. But it was very cold."

After such previous conquests, the Amazon must have seemed like a natural progression.

Martin trained more than five hours a day in his local swimming pool and finally began history's longest swim in April 2007. His daily target was to swim for 10 hours every day, covering around 90km. But the adventure soon became a struggle for survival.

As well as dehydration and exhaustion, water-borne parasites left his body racked with infection and disease, including dengue fever, which triggers painful cramps.

Tarantulas, giant millipedes and scorpions would drop off the trees into the river, often getting entangled in his hair. Birds would fly down and attempt to peck at his face. Larvae burrowed into his skin and his face was stung by wasps. Some days he even had to wear a pillowcase over his head, with slits for the eyes and mouth to protect his face from the heat.

However the hazards above the water were nothing compared to the horrors below. The biggest danger was the bull shark, responsible for the deaths of more humans than any other type of shark in the area.

Then there are stingrays and anacondas lurking in the shallows, crocodiles and alligators that can seize human-size prey and gobble it whole. Long, poisonous snakes slither out of nowhere and giant catfish up to 15ft long, known to swallow dogs and children, hide in the mud.

Once he had to be hauled from the water screaming in pain, as shoals of piranha fish gnawed at his leg.

He swam in the faster-flowing middle of the channel, in places 100ft deep, in the worst Amazon floods for a century, but sometime he couldn't avoid the stiller water.

In an attempt to stop the razorjawed piranha fish from smelling him, Martin would lather his body with gasoline and cream and buckets of pigs' blood would be thrown into the water to divert their attention.

But of all the dangers, the one Martin feared most was the tiny candiru, otherwise known as the vampire fish, a parasite with a vicious tactic. It is attracted by the scent of urine and enters the body by swimming up the penis. Once inside it locks itself on with a series of spikes and feeds off blood and tissue. Surgery is the only way to remove it. And if Martin was attacked the nearest emergency ward was hundreds of miles away.

To reduce the risk, Martin never exposed himself to urinate and always did it inside his wetsuit. "I never looked down," he said.

The only friendly creatures he met were the porpoises and dolphins who often kept him company, swimming alongside.

His escort boat, skippered by his son and manager Borut, 28, had a team of armed guards to protect him from river pirates and carried his stockpile of medicine and food...and alcohol. "Drinking wine is part of my life," Martin says. "It's my special blend, that I make myself, so it's very healthy and it gives me energy, without making me drunk. I would drink whisky as well, to wash my mouth out before I eat food.

"But sometimes I drank a little just to lift the day, because to swim a river like the Amazon is very hard. You never know what is below the water - and a drink helped me relax. You need a little Dutch courage!"

The toll on his body was immense - he weighed 114kg (250lb) when he started and lost nearly 20kg (44lb) during the swim, despite being on an 11,000 caloriesa-day diet to keep up his strength.

Towards the end, he admitted that it felt like "a bomb was about to explode" in his head. He took months to recover. Since his swim, which he undertook to highlight increasing levels of pollution in the world and the threat to the rainforests, Martin has become a huge star back home in Slovenia.

Nowadays, women flock around him, calling him a hero and begging to be his wife.

"Yes, I get hit on a lot and sure, I do like pretty ladies," Martin says. "But I'm already married. I have to keep my head clear - just as I did when I took on that river.

"I am just a regular man who just has higher goals than usual, not a superman."

So what's next for the incredible human fish? "Who knows?" shrugs Martin. "Maybe I'll swim right around the world!"

Big River Man is in cinemas from September 4. For more information go to www.amazonswim.com

Some of the horrors under the water...

BULL SHARK

Needs no introduction, this is more of a maneater than even the legendary Great White

ANACONDA

Less of a snake, more of a scaly submarine, this beast is best avoided at all costs

PIRANHA

Shoals are famed for being able to strip a cow to the bone in under a minute

CANDIRU

Known as the vampire fish, its methods are enough to make men scream like little girls

Amazon facts

The river is 3274 miles long. Only the River Nile in Egypt, at 4,132 miles, is longer.

It pumps 300,000 cubic metres of water a second into the Atlantic.

It accounts for a fifth of the world's fresh water.

It is home to a third of all the species of animals in the world.

There is no bridge across it.

At its mouth in Brazil, it is 210 miles wide, which is wider than the length of the Thames.

The source of the Amazon is a stream in the Peruvian Andes.

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Excuse me whilst I pop my eyes back in my head....*phew!* Okay, there....
________________________

L@@K! *NEW!*L@@K!

THE ODD COMMERCIAL

I've decided since I put so many commercials on the blog that I should start a new segment (like anyone reads this) called "The Odd Commercial". Because sometimes...They just are...
Coming soon...The Odd Youtube video...

More captions of the past.....Ahhhhh!!!!

Scary much?

Now why did I want to post something?.....Oh never mind *puts tin foil hat back on* .....
{You can never be too careful} Points to the sky....{Republicans....}

Snoped

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/heartkun.asp#photo
See Spot love?

http://www.snopes.com/photos/odd/searsgrill.asp
Gives Baby Back Ribs a whole new meaning....

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/reese.asp
Maybe it's not the other 545 people and maybe it's just the author???

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/youscareme.asp
Lou scare me.

*virus ALERT virus*
It's undetermined but you can never be too safe!
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/facebook.asp
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Jonathan Swift  - "May you live every day of your life."

Something stinks like ONION

Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care

August 18, 2009

WASHINGTON—After months of committee meetings and hundreds of hours of heated debate, the United States Congress remained deadlocked this week over the best possible way to deny Americans health care.

"Both parties understand that the current system is broken," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters Monday. "But what we can't seem to agree upon is how to best keep it broken, while still ensuring that no elected official takes any political risk whatsoever. It's a very complicated issue."

"Ultimately, though, it's our responsibility as lawmakers to put these differences aside and focus on refusing Americans the health care they deserve," Pelosi added.

The legislative stalemate largely stems from competing ideologies deeply rooted along party lines. Democrats want to create a government-run system for not providing health care, while Republicans say coverage is best denied by allowing private insurers to make it unaffordable for as many citizens as possible.

"We have over 40 million people without insurance in this country today, and that is unacceptable," Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said. "If we would just quit squabbling so much, we could get that number up to 50 or even 100 million. Why, there's no reason we can't work together to deny health care to everyone but the richest 1 percent of the population."

"That's what America is all about," he added.

___________________________

Marijuana Growers Linked To California Fire

A cooking fire started by marijuana growers linked to a Mexican cartel is said to be responsible for burning around 90,000 acres of the Los Padres National Forest. What do you think?


Darcy McQueen,
Farmer
"Like you've never taken the time out for s'mores during a 240-kilo pot harvest."

David Massen,
Systems Analyst
"Every biologist knows that periodic, negligence-related fires are necessary to maintain a healthy forest ecosystem."


Craig Votruba,
Unemployed
"Yeah, but dude, you ever get high and cause a hurricane? It's so awesome."

__________________________________________________

Moving On Up…To The Cheap Side!

By Roger Dudek
Well, hello there, loyal readers. So good of you to drop by. Please, won't you step into the foyer? Or at least point to it and tell me where it is? Because I haven't the slightest clue! You guessed it, it's moving day 'round the Dudek household. Rosemary and I sold our house and found a smaller place to match my smaller paychecks. And it's a good thing, too. Right now our budget is stretched thinner than Joan Rivers' forehead. (And that's thin!)

Now, I'll admit, moving has never been one of my favorite activities. In fact, on the list of things I enjoy doing, it would rank somewhere between eating chalk and getting a root canal at the DMV. Thankfully, there are people you can pay to pack up all your belongings, place them carefully in a truck, and transport everything to your new home, safe and sound, without a scratch on them.

Or, you can do what I did, and hire movers!
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FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES

And who among us hasn't been pooped after a hard day at the office?
------------

 

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25943308-23109,00.html

Man arrested for drive-by feces attack

From correspondents in Tokyo, Japan

Agency France-Press

August 17, 2009 08:36pm

• A 39-year-old construction worker has been arrested for throwing his own faeces at women passers-by from a motorcycle in two separate attacks in western Japan, police said today.

The man turned himself in yesterday after making the second drive-by attack in Settsu, a satellite city near Osaka, and was detained on suspicion of assault, a municipal police spokesman said.

The worker, identified as Tatsuya Moriguchi, committed a similar assault in the same city on August 3, the police official said.

"The suspect has told investigators he did it because he felt frustrated when his work didn't go well,'' the official said.

"I have no idea what kind of penalty he may face. I have not heard about such a case before.''

In the first incident, Moriguchi relieved himself outdoors just before getting on his moped and throwing the feces at the head of a woman in her 20s, the official said.

_________________________________________________________________

 
Subject: AMA on Health Care Plan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new health care plan being developed by the Obama Team.

The Allergists voted to scratch it,  but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it,  but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a  misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"  while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,  while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anesthesiologists thought the idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out,  leaving the entire decision up to the butt holes in Washington .

--
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Festival's of capping and other light hearted exhibits....

From The Desk Of Pete Yates!

Considering the CD he was having them hold, I would suspect that he was "Comfortably Numb" at the time.

----

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/2757514/Is-this-New-Zealands-dumbest-crim

 

A thief has made a bid for the title of New Zealand's dumbest crook after providing his name and contact details to a store clerk minutes before grabbing money from the cash register in full view of the Christchurch store's eight surveillance cameras.

 

The long-time customer of Penny Lane Records on Colombo St in Sydenham began his bad caper on Friday afternoon.

 

He approached the counter with a copy of Pink Floyd's classic rock CD The Wall and asked for it to be held for him.

He wrote his name and contact details on a sticker, which was placed on the CD.

 

A minute later, when the store attendant went to help another customer, the man leaned over the counter and opened the till. He grabbed a handful of $10 and $20 notes, pushed past a woman who spotted him, and fled the store.

 

Record store manager Garry Knight said if the man had cared to look up he would have seen a monitor showing him dipping into the till from four different angles.

 

If that was not stupid enough, the man was a long-time, regular customer who had previously left his name and phone number in the store's "wants" book for people who had standing requests for rare records.

 

Knight said there were eight or so people in the store, including two eyewitnesses. "It's comical."

 

Police were called but the man had already left the area. Knight predicted the case would not take long to crack.

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My whole life has been decided by fate.
Sharon Tate

Snopes....

See the car? Yeah, it's that thing that looks like someones gum wrapper between two trucks.....
http://www.snopes.com/photos/accident/smallcar.asp

I just watched a docudrama on this woman....She had moxie.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/sendler.asp

Blair Holt bill
http://www.snopes.com/politics/guns/blairholt.asp
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One must beware of ministers who can do nothing without money, and those who want to do everything with money.
Indira Gandhi

The Onion and More Republican's doin Hash and not sharing.....

Congress Beginning To Suspect Senator Mark Warner Might Be Homeless

WASHINGTON—Warner's recent habit of introducing legislation written out on large pieces of brown cardboard only furthers speculation that he has hit hard times.

GM Selling Cars On eBay

In order to combat its sales slump, General Motors, in cooperation with about 225 dealerships, has begun selling cars on the auction website eBay. What do you think?

Alice Huston,
Birth Attender
"With this kind of innovative thinking, I think GM will someday be as successful as my mom's homemade candle business."

Kim Amell,
Systems Analyst
"I guess not selling cars on eBay is probably a lot cheaper than hiring people to not sell cars in dealerships."

Andy Nachtrab,
Hammer Mill Operator
"They nailed the crux of the problem right there. The reason for the collapse of the auto market was that you just couldn't buy a brand-new $25,000 vehicle, sight unseen, from an Internet auction house."

Sci-Fi Writer Attributes Everything Mysterious To 'Quantum Flux'

ROLLA, MO—A reading of Gabriel Fournier's The Eclipse Of Infinity reveals that the new science-fiction novel makes more than 80 separate references to 'quantum flux,' a vaguely defined force the author uses to advance the plot, resolve conflict as needed, and account for dozens of glaring inconsistencies.

Teenage Rebels Seize Control Of Food Court's Corner Table

HOLLAND, MI—According to mall personnel, a roving gang of 15-year-old rebels captured a corner table at the Woodland Mall food court Sunday in a forceful act of nonconformity that displaced families and caused concern among business owners. Some believe the intimidating teenagers may belong to the same band of dissidents that has been gaining power in the shopping center's upper level since last Thursday's devastating verbal attack on a Lane Bryant beachwear display. Although the rebels have voiced opposition to all forms of authority and vowed to defend their position at any cost, an incoming strike by an extreme faction of 12th-grade jocks eventually forced them to retreat into a nearby Lids.

We've Got Some Great News For Those Employees Who Hate Our 401(k) Matching Program

By Paul Lowell
CEO, Lowell's Cleaning Services
August 6, 2009 | Issue 45•32

Here at Lowell's Cleaning Services, our greatest asset is our employees. We're always striving to make our company stronger, and we try to be open to your ideas for improvements. For quite some time now, we've been hearing that many of you aren't happy with our retirement savings plan. That's why, beginning next week, we will heed the advice of those who absolutely could not stand our generous 401(k) matching program by permanently eliminating it.

______________________________________________________________________________

....And here for your dining and dancing pleasure....Old people being paranoid and uninformed....People, people, people....
Personally, I'm thinking of resigning my humanity and becoming a piece of grass because for sure someone would water and feed me.



He then adds: "Folks will say that's not true but, I've got facts on my side and you've got Glenn Beck on your side."

And the guy that says, "PROVIDE FOR THE GENERAL WELFARE-IT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION OR MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T READ IT!!!"

That's precious! God Bless Them.





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Joan Crawford - "I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the dollar. Everything I earn, I spend."

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES: Possible In The News!

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Out of China...

 

http://www.sthelenschat.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33627&get=last

 

Husband jumps in river to escape nagging

A Chinese lorry driver jumped into a fast-flowing river because he couldn't take his wife's nagging anymore.

 

Zhou and his wife were on a ferry on the Yangtze River when it all became too much for him, reports the Chongqing Evening Post.

 

Members of the ship's crew saw the man suddenly run out of his cabin with his hands covering his ears, and shouting: "I can't stand it any longer."

 

They initially thought he was suffering from an ear injury and went to help him but found he was unhurt.

 

"While we were still puzzling over the this, his wife ran up and continued nagging him," said one crewmate.

 

"The husband covered his ears again and said: 'I need a break' before jumping over the side into the rushing river.

 

"We immediately found lamps to light up the water but found nobody. The possibility of survival can be zero."

 

However, later that night, police found the man who had managed to swim more than a mile across across the broad river.

 

"I felt I was dying, but even that's better than my wife's nagging," he reportedly told the police.

The couple were reunited the following morning at the local police station where Zhou's wife promised to give up her habit of nagging him.

 

 

 

~ Yet later that night she began to discuss the quality of their humble lodgings and it was at that time that her husband found a local tree that would be his friend....~

Monkey Butt Parents

I can’t tell you how this makes me feel. It’s unreal.

Its anger and outrage and astonishment and just plain old being stunned.

It’s something I can’t believe.

More than once I have had children sleeping on my couch because a parent can’t cope with their child being a teenager and more than one child have I taken in because Mom or Dad can’t seem to get it together enough to be grown ups.

I had one girl who lived with me, finished high school and got her drivers license while living with me, who had never known a real mother and was astonished that when the test instructor asked her who was “Mom” I volunteered and said, “Me, I’m her mom”. The poor thing always had a look on her face like a dog that had been beat too much.

I had another who couldn’t stand living with her parents during the weekend when she wasn’t at her father’s house. She was on my couch so much that we would buy food just for her.

One time we weren’t told about someone sleeping on our couch and my husband got up in his underwear and got some milk in the middle of the night to find a teenage girl of unknown origin staring at him.

I had another whose parent didn’t want to frankly be a parent anymore and would, if you would please, do anything to “get rid” of his kid.

I had children who were sick on my couch and I heard someone coughing and got up and gave them Robotussin for a cold.

And there were times I would have to ask my children “Who is sleeping on the couch?” or “Would you please tell me before someone is coming over to stay, so I don’t walk out in my pajama’s?”

That’s how common it was.

Disposable children.

Here’s the thing, if you don’t want to have children but want to get married or have this ungodly promiscuous lifestyle…Then get yourself fixed because, like a cat, you’re going to have unwanted children following you around wanting to be fed and clothed and like a cat, you’ll get to a point where you don’t want to deal with them sucking off you anymore, so you’ll either ignore them, or verbally or physically abuse them until they go away.

Here’s the sad part.

Unlike a cat however, most of the time, by the time their kittens are weaned, they are essentially equipped to handle the world; whereas, human children can be weaned but cannot handle the world for a couple decades or more.

And I’ve seen a cat try to jump through a screen door to get to her kittens whereas these supposed “parents” wouldn’t even sacrifice a weekend for these children let alone jump through a screen door if they had to do that to save their young.

If you do want to get married and just want to put off having children, that’s fine, and if you just find yourself having a pregnancy that is unwanted, for the sake of the entire world, give the baby up to some family that would want it and love it. Don’t keep it because it’s a nice accessory to wear on your arm. This is a life long commitment that lasts longer than the eighteen years that the government tells you to keep them. That magic number was made up by draft boards, and is too young for anyone to be able to decide what’s right, wrong or sideways for them.

It breaks my heart.

I have seen children who are intelligent and their parents are proud of their achievements in school, because they have been honor roll students….Come to my front door with gashes in their head because dad was drunk and couldn’t take junior’s alleged mouth. I don’t care who you are, that’s not cool.

I’ve seen honor students doing calculus in high school, with blazingly bright futures….thrown to the wolves and told to find a new home, because mom and dad decided that they were all done raising their family….Even though one was left and only had this infinitesimal time to finish.

They couldn’t handle it.

What couldn’t you handle?
What could be so important that you couldn’t deal with a brilliant, talented child being a teenager? What is so awful about a child who has a little bit of a difficultly in school…A little bit of a difficultly? What has made you so self-important as to think that you can just brush off this person’s feelings and thoughts because you thought that they were unworthy of your time? WHO MADE YOU SO VERY IMPORTANT?!?

Do you know what makes me so very very very angry? What fills me with such rage that I wish to go ahead and do violence to someone? What makes me, a gentle, warm human being, filled with compassion and patience, ready to verbally slaughter you!!!!

LIVE MY LIFE!

I would in a heart beat if God told me he would grant it, gladly give my right arm, all my talents and gifts back to God….Give them back….My art, my voice, my love of music, my love of history, my self expression through writing….Give them back willingly….IF I COULD MAKE MARTY AN AVERAGE NINETEEN YEAR OLD MAN.

Not especially talented, not especially brilliant, not especially anything, just average….

And you have thrown that away, simply because it’s inconvenient for you.

LIVE MY LIFE! LIVE IT! For one day, alone. Live it, a week, live my life with an autistic child who will never live alone. Whose destiny is unsure. Live with the chaos of it. The inconvenience of it, the time it takes, the energy and heart ache of it. The pain of watching your child look so very average and be so very disabled….LIVE MY LIFE!!!

YOU’RE THE BANE OF SOCIETY INCARNATE!!!!

And the heartache you will carry later in your life, you totally and fully deserve.

Be alone in your old age………….You’ve earned it.

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Mike Ditka - "If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms."

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF ITSELF!!!

....Didn't they ever learn that Satan is the father of all lies!!!
I think a fellow capper friend of mine said that once in a caption and it's all true.
However, somehow the Republican party seems to do The Limbo dance under that little fact...

YES ALL YOU SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONSERVATIVES! GOD HATES IT WHEN YOU LIE!

READ THIS:http://www.snopes.com/politics/medical/euthanasia.asp
AND THIS: http://firebrandblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/cry-wolf.html

The section under question is Section 1233 of HR3200 (the House health care bill) and it is amending subsection s(2) of Section 1861 of the Social Security Act (42 U.S.C. 1395x). Section 1233 of HR3200 adds new sub-paragraph (FF) to the list of what Medicare will pay for as defined in Section 1861 of the Social Security Act.

Section 1233 is saying that Medicare will pay for an "advance care planning consultation" no more often than once every five years unless the patient's health status changes as a result of certain diagnoses or the patient is admitted to a nursing home, long-term care facility, or hospice. Such a consultation may result in a written directive about care and that directive may include information about such areas as antibiotics and intravenous feeding and hydration as well as the usual DNR instructions and any wishes with regard to facility transfer.

In other words, Section 1233 is creating a new type of "treatment" that will be paid for by Medicare. It will only pay for one such consultation every five years unless the patient's health status changes, in which case Medicare will pay for a consultation when that change occurs. This is not a mandate; this is a new entitlement. It may not be an entitlement everyone likes but it is still something extra for those on Medicare.

Here's the long version in which I show you how to follow the trail yourself:

You can access the House's health care bill (HR3200) via THOMAS. Say you want to search by bill number and enter "HR3200" in the search box. Say you want "Text of Legislation". Click on the hyperlink for "SEC. 1233. ADVANCE CARE PLANNING CONSULTATION." This section is amending Section 1861 of the Social Security Act (42 U.S.C. 1395x) by adding a new subparagraph (FF).

SO in other words, like Keith Olbermann said last night on Countdown With Keith Olbermann...."If you want someone to pound on your chest and not give up for six weeks to revive you after you've been declared brain dead, this can be written into your written directive...."

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

NOW PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF SANITY- SHUT UP!!!
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-- The Republican Party is like a group of children that does not work and play well with others health care issues....

The End of My World

Sometimes you realize that you are not immortal.

This comes to no surprise to you when you suddenly have an ache or a pain that in your youth, you just never had before.

For instance, when I was in high school I fell down the stairs at the high school. Our high school was three stories tall with granite stair cases two at each end and two in the middle, and because my last name started with an "S" I was subjugated to climbing all three flights if I had a class on the basement floor….Yes we had classes in the basement.

It was a small town.

 

Anyway, I was wearing a skirt one day for some reason and I had to run up the stairs to get to my locker and I fell down the stairs and managed to jam my arm into the socket of my shoulder.

Now, I knew that someday that would be a source of some pain. I knew that damaged tendons would probably lead to some arthritis, however I was unawares that it would become my barometer of how nasty the storm coming up on us was…And so every time it snowed a goodly amount or we had some crazy thunderstorms-if the barometer was in the right place and everything had worked it's way out somehow, I would be in some righteous pain.

 

What I didn't realize that at some point this would become the pinnacle of pain, aside of my back, which went out on me from time to time because of an injury sustained as an employee of Information's Technology.

 

So this morning, I woke up, in a pretty good mood and was going through my day and for some reason, out of the clear blue sky "OUCH!"

It was storming outside, a good, hard steady rain; however, did I expect that I would be immobilized with pain? No.

And the first thing you think is, "Is this more than just a pain left over from something that happened almost thirty some years ago?" "Should I go to the hospital with this pain?" Don't know, it's hard to know. I mean, nurses always look at you like you're an imposition when it's something like an ache from an old injury…Like you're a wuss and should just deal with it. SO you hate to go in there and have it turn out to be the victimization and violation of your bones as a teenager, coming back to reek vengeance on your body as a middle-aged mother of three and former IT worker.

 

However, since a bus could miss me walking in front of it sometime while shopping at the local grocery store…Or I could at sometime be one of those unfortunate souls who are in the designated flaming airliner heading for a field somewhere….Here is a list of songs I wish played at my funeral. Please make sure it happens:

 

You and Me- Dave Matthews Band

April Come She Will- Paul Simon

Bridge Over Troubled Waters-Art Garfunkle, Paul Simon

Baby Blue- Dave Matthews Band

Golden Slumbers- The Beatles

Good Night-The Beatles

Have my nephew Zech, sing April Come She Will and Golden Slumbers and Good Night.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

And yes, it hurts that much.

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Did you buyz some Onionz?

Sanyo Praying Area Man Doesn't Send In Rebate Form

August 3, 2009 | Issue 45•32

OSAKA, JAPAN—Following Dayton, OH resident David Cinelli's purchase of a CLT-A230M cordless phone from his local Best Buy, electronics manufacturer Sanyo was plunged into chaos Monday over fears that Cinelli might attempt to redeem the $40 rebate coupon that came with the phone.

College Grad Suing Alma Mater

Trina Thompson, 27, is suing New York's Monroe College for $72,000 because she has not landed a job three months after graduating with a 2.7 grade point average. What do you think?

Katharine Carlson,
Creative Consultant
"Look, if she's not industrious enough to get a job at her dad's firm like I did, then she doesn't deserve a penny."

Nate Holmes,
Systems Analyst
"She should have gone to an 'employment-guaranteed' college, like I did."

Arthur Sellers,
CEO
"I authorized my secretary to get on the phone and offer this Trina Thompson a position in the sales department. This is precisely the type of litigious mediocrity I want on my team!"

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It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civilians on the line for the misguided frustrations of the Bush administration.
Dave Matthews

Only in Northern Michigan

Swim Forest Swim
Stay up-to-date with the latest, albeit strangest at times, news from around Michigan and the world at
http://www.9and10news.com/News/

FRANKFORT POLICE SAY DRUNK DRIVER TRIED TO SWIM AWAY FROM OFFICERS
Police in Benzie County say after driving drunk, a man tried to swim away
from them.  Just after 8:30 last night, an officer tried to pull the man
over on M-22 near Maple Street in Frankfort, but he just kept going.
After about five miles, police say the driver abandoned his car and ran
into Crystal Lake, where he started swimming into deep water.  Police
borrowed a neighbor's boat and went after him.  They arrested the man and
he is now in jail awaiting arraignment.

Yea, that'll work.
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Snopes!

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/wendys.asp
No burgers for you!

http://www.snopes.com/fraud/employment/google.asp
And NO! NO ONE IS GOING TO PAY YOU TO WORK FROM HOME....Unless you already have a job that lets you work from home once in a while....NO! NO ONE IS GOING TO LET YOU DO THAT!
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Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana.
Bill Gates

Looks good...Sounds good...Smells good....Must be good.

Only thing I'm not crazy about is the whole pregnancy thing. That makes me kind of nauseous. Pregnancy isn't just a thing that happens...It's life.