Religious beliefs....

I found this in a magazine from my church and as I went through this a lot I found it very much comforting to know someone else went through it too.
Plus, I think sometimes we have a tendency to be okay with every other religion other than Christianity and I don't understand that. Because if you are going to live and let live why are you not okay with letting me love and live and believe and support me in what I believe too?

Good point isn't it?

BELIEVE!

*When we're teenagers, we're expected , to make adult decisions without actually Being an adult. In some cases, we make the right choices, like not to drink alcohol until we're 21. In other cases, we make the wrong choices, and the consequences can be severe.

In my case, a rash teenage decision could have cost me eternal life.
Falling away from the faith

I was raised in a Lutheran family and was faithful well into my mid-teens. As a child, it was easy to believe without question. I knew God loved me and that he would watch out for me. Without fail, I Would be at Sunday school and later church almost every Sunday. With my entire family attending a Lutheran church, my beliefs were solidified. I felt that I could never stray from the Lord.
Growing up, I was teased quite a bit by my classmates for my faith and for other reasons, but I never had a single twinge of doubt. As I entered my junior year of high school, that changed. The teasing got meaner. People who used to be friendly to me turned cold. Most disturbing to me was the fact that people I saw who sinned quite openly seemed to get all the breaks, while I struggled to keep my head above water.

I became much like my biblical namesake and started to question what I had accepted so easily in my youth. For as much as I learned about God in church and Sunday school, I had never considered why I believed. When faced with the teasing and general disdain my classmates seemed to have for me, I couldn't reconcile what I had learned with what I thought God was doing. In my 16-year-old mind, it appeared to me that God had turned his back on me. So I turned my back on him, and I didn't look back.

Entering college, I kept my self-imposed exile. For a while, I dabbled in atheism and agnosticism, thinking I was "too smart" to believe in God. My complete lack of faith came to fruition during a public debate my college held about the existence of God. During the question and answer period, I rattled off a logic problem I had read in a magazine designed to show that God wasn't nearly as caring as we were led to believe. When the gentleman arguing in favor of God's existence didn't come up with a suitable answer, I was proud that I'd justified my lack of faith.
Rediscovering my spiritual home after college, God never really entered into my equation. But my friend Pat really got me to reconsider my position on God. She encouraged me to seek out my own path. Our discussions about God and faith opened my eyes and heart somewhat, but I was filled with a great guilt over what I'd done in my youth. This guilt built yet another wall between God and me. The wall was difficult to scale. I felt I could never earn his love because of my sinful nature and past.
Then God broke down the last of the barriers. It was the Friday after Thanksgiving three years ago when I heard about a horrible situation involving a crowd pushing down a pregnant woman and then trampling a young woman who tried to protect the pregnant woman from being injured. I went into a deep depression. My mind simply could not wrap itself around the situation, so I asked others what they felt I should do. Their sentiments of "get over it" offered no solace.
Then I was inspired to pray. Folding my hands as I had done so many times before, I asked God for help. This time I prayed with a heart opened like it was in my youth. As I quietly prayed aloud, I felt as if I had begun a journey home. I remembered the love and forgiveness God promised, and I felt my burden lift. After 20 years, my self-imposed exile was over, and I was with him again.
The next step was to find a church that I felt comfortable with. I looked for Lutheran churches first out of a sense of familiarity. I figured the doctrine wouldn't be too far from what I'd learned, so I already had a small foothold on the subject matter. I drove by a Lutheran church every night coming home from work. I decided to try attending, but it didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. I tried one more. I went to a WELS church. As soon
as I walked in, I was greeted by the organist, Harriet, as though I'd been going there for years. A few minutes later, I met the pastor and talked with him briefly-not as an outsider, but as a potential new member of the congregation. As I sat down, more people noticed me and took the time to extend a hand of friendship. It was that Sunday that I found my spiritual home, both on earth and in heaven.
Fanning the flame into a fire
For someone with an inquiring mind, WELS is a perfect fit. WELS provides a great learning experience to its members, one that appeals to the intellectual and the spiritual. After so long, I finally understood why I believed. That helped me grow as a Lutheran. Today I understand Christ's
"sacrifice to save me from myself in a way I'd never considered before. The greatest lesson I learned from WELS and my own experience is that even the smallest flicker of faith can grow into an unquenchable fire if given a chance.
I've grown to be much more active. I am a substitute teacher for our adult Bible study classes when our pastor is unable to lead the class. Our discussions are always lively and full of fun and education. Leading this class has broadened my spiritual understanding immensely and has given me more confidence in my ability to be a leader in the church.
As part of my spiritual homecoming, I made a promise to try to help pre-teens, teenagers, and college students avoid the pitfalls
I encountered. I am working to start a youth group and also help with the fourth- through eighth-graders at a midweek church program where adults and children can have a good meal and great fellowship while learning about God. If I can help even one of them stay away from the path I took, I will have fulfilled God's purpose for me.
Twenty years ago, I made a big mistake turning my back on God's infinite, unfailing love. During that time, I was like Saul, the persecutor of Christians. I believed I knew all the answers and didn't need to listen to God. But also like Saul, I realized the folly of such thinking and was reborn in the light of the one true God. The old me is dead, as he should be, and
. the new me is here to stay!

Thomas Lindeman is a member at Lincoln Heights, Des Moines, Iowa.

*Lindeman, Thomas (2009, April). Confessions of Faith. Forward in Christ, [96(4)], 12-13.

Well anyway I was looking at Snopes and ....

...Oh poopie! Not again....

<sigh> *IMPORTANT* VIRUS! *IMPORTANT* VIRUS! *IMPORTANT* VIRUS! *IMPORTANT* <sigh>

http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/conficker.asp
http://www.microsoft.com/security/portal/Entry.aspx?Name=Win32/Conficker

and

Duhwha?
http://www.snopes.com/language/notthink/exception.asp
_____________________________________

Yogi Berra  - "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

ShamWow guy's nuts not so loved...

....As Countdown on MSNBC mentioned last night....

AS SEEN ON :

ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust

TV pitchman battered hooker in South Beach hotel room brawl

MARCH 27--Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons," police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment. As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi's occupation as "Marketing," but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling). (6 pages)

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

P. J. O'Rourke  - "If government were a product, selling it would be illegal."

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES

Man tosses gas bomb in fight, sets own cars ablaze

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

 

BITHLO, Fla. -- Authorities said a man threw a Molotov cocktail at his neighbor's trailer, but the wind shifted and set fire to two cars, a pickup and a travel trailer in the man's own yard. The Florida Highway Patrol reported that a 51-year-old man got into a fight with his neighbor on Tuesday night and threw the makeshift gasoline bomb.

 

Authorities believe alcohol was involved.

 

The man faces multiple charges, including arson. He was being held at the Orange County Jail.

.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.•·.·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·..·´¯`·.·•.·:*¨¨*:·.

Casey Stengel  - "All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height."

Only in Central and Northern Michigan apparently.....

POLICE LOOKING FOR SUSPECTS STEALING BABY FORMULA IN MICHIGAN
There's a reward being offered for information surrounding several
robberies across Michigan targeting baby formula.  Mt. Pleasant police say
it's likely the formula is being sold on a thriving black market, or being
mixed with drugs.  They say four pregnant looking ladies stole formula
from a store near Saginaw.  Then on Wednesday thieves hit Ric's grocery in
Mt. Pleasant, as well as a store in Barrtyon in Mecosta County.  Between
those two stores, the amount of formula stolen was worth around $900.
Police say the thieves at Ric's left in a red Chrysler mini-van. A blue
Chevy Blazer with two men inside may have also been involved.


I say their stocking up for when the zombies come....

And they will come....

___________________________________________________________

George Burns  - "Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."

Only In Northern Michigan

WOMAN HEADS TO COURT FOR HEAD BUTTING KALKASKA POLICE OFFICER
A woman will be in court today, accused of head butting a Kalkaska police
officer and kicking out a patrol car window. It all started when deputies
responded to a call late Sunday night about an assault in the parking lot
of Kalho Bar in Kalkaska. As police arrested the woman, she clenched her
fist and tried to punch the deputy. Then, as the deputy tried getting her
into the patrol car, the woman head butted her. The deputy was treated for
minor injuries and released at the hospital.


~Isaac Asimov  - "I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."~

Watch and learn....

Okay, as a general rule I don't put out anything that isn't true from Snopes....But this needs to be addressed because twice in one week I am crossed with something that is a urban myth in the process of being distributed....

http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/lockcode.asp
It's a bunch of hooey.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/gangs/walmart.asp
I recently received this in a text message....
________

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/tributes/teardrop.asp
Actually pretty cool.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/traffic/moveover.asp
....This is not the major accident your looking for .....MOVE ALONG!!!

ONLY IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN....And some other places...

FORMER EMMET COUNTY SHERIFF'S DEPUTY ARRESTED
A former Emmet County Sheriff's Deputy could soon be looking at the other
side of prison cell.  Deputy Scott Ford was arrested Tuesday, accused of
sexual misconduct while on duty.  Ford was fired in Emmet County last
December. According to this court affidavit, the investigation stemmed
from an incident when Ford allegedly engaged in a sex act with a woman
while on duty. He's also accused of making sexual advances towards a woman
and asking for drugs during traffic stops last summer.  Ford faces seven
years in prison if he's found guilty.

_____________________________________________

~Put your pants back on and lets go get some ice cream and talk about this...~

The day dad's keys are to be taken away....

More reasons to have resolution on the day dad's keys are to be taken away....

BALDWIN COUPLE CRITICALLY INJURED IN WRONG WAY CRASH
A couple from Baldwin are in critical condition this morning after a
deadly accident. Police say a wrong-way driver in Ohio hit their car
head-on. Ohio troopers say an elderly man was going the wrong way on I-75
near Toledo Monday. The elderly driver died.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Recently I bought a car. I like it. It's blue. And it's not a Buick....Now; I would love to have another Buick.

I believe in Buick's.

Not that kind of belief....I know what you’re thinking....

They are not the stuff of myth and legend I'll have you know, nor do they come with leprechaun's that promise a pot of gold at the end of the car wash.

However, they do get great gas mileage and they are as reliable (with the exception of their transmissions) as the sunrise in the morning.

Never the less, I, I and my husband just bought a 2006, late year car. It's a sports car with four doors. We have to have four doors. Our autistic son still lives with us.
It is a Chevy.
Now all of our cars are Chevy's.

I digress.

Now, when you buy a new car naturally you must go in to the DMV or Secretary of State, or where-ever, depending on where you live, and get your license plate switched over from one car to another or buy a whole nother plate completely.

We chose to transfer the plate.

I'm sitting in the Sec of State and watching people. When I look up at the counter and see a man there with an oxygen tank. I mean it's pretty clear what's going on when someone has oxygen. And I'm thinking, "Wait a sec, people with oxygen tanks can drive cars?" and "Doesn't that seem really dangerous?"

And I thought back to the woman who was stopped at a corner in my home town, kitty corner to me, for no apparent reason. There was no stop sign, there was no yield sign; she was just....stopped.
She gripped the steering wheel with the kind of grip I once used while driving in Detroit and afterward swore off driving in towns larger than Saginaw.
She turned in front of us and I said to my husband...."Um, time to take Mom's keys."

I remember my grandmother careening around corners and almost hitting parked cars and going up on curves, and my friend and I holding on to each other for dear life while she drove us to a local store and I remembered my parents had to hide her car to spare her fragile psyche from the trauma of no longer being allowed to own a car, much less drive.

It was hard to do, but they recognized the danger, almost too late.

One day my parents got a call from the police or someone downtown and my father quickly and quietly went into action taking away her privileges.

Sometimes we bravely but with the utmost care, must take it upon ourselves to step in and become our parents, parents and take away the keys....Before someone, who we love, gets hurt or worse, dies....Or even worse than that, takes someone else's loved one's life in the process.

3.17.09

http://www.theonion.com

03.17.09

Right To Privacy Not Guaranteed By Constitution, Says Supreme Court Justice Peeking In Bathroom Window

Tree Featured In 'The Deer Hunter' Dies

BLUE RIDGE MOUNTAINS, NC—'It will be missed,' Deer Hunter costar Robert De Niro said. 'We took a shine to each other on set immediately. That tree taught me a lot about life.'

Internet To Reduce E-Mail Delivery To 6 Days A Week

INTERNET HEADQUARTERS—Speaking on behalf of the overburdened World Wide Web, Internet representatives announced Monday that all Sunday e-mail service would be discontinued as part of a new cost-cutting measure. 'Any correspondence sent after 11:59 p.m. on Saturday will now be delivered by noon on Monday,' Internet spokeswoman Sharon Jervis said. 'Users should expect further delays during national holidays or on days affected by adverse weather conditions.' Jervis added that, starting Mar. 30, all e-mail attachments will also be charged by weight.

Patrick Duffy's New Film

Production is complete on He's Such A Girl, starring Patrick Duffy. Why hasn't this film been released yet? What do you think?

Amanda Scott,
Account Representative
"They're probably working on a title that isn't so incongruous with Patrick Duffy's irrefutable virility."

Mike Gale,
Systems Analyst
"You tell me. In this period of economic distress, you would assume the first thing people would be running to is Patrick Duffy."

Tom Bruckner,
Retail Cashier
"The Duff loves to keep 'em waiting."

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Things Just Taste Better Out Of A Skull

By Munkarth the Lesser
March 12, 2009 | Issue 45•11

I'm a man who knows what he likes. I like the hot spray of fresh blood against my face, I like the cold clasp of wrought-iron chain mail around my thighs, and, of course, I like the taste of almost anything consumed from the skull of a beheaded enemy. For me, nothing beats a crisp beverage or hearty entrée served in the bony remains of a human head. Whether I'm swilling down breakfast mush or nibbling on a light dinner salad, a skull turns any dining experience into a special event.

I don't know what it is, but food served in a hollowed-out brain pan is always delicious. My wife says it's a psychological thing, and there's definitely some truth to that. Eating from a skull stirs up memories of standing victorious upon a smoldering battlefield, the piercing shriek of a slain foe's death cry still ringing in one's ears—and that little bit of magic can really make some make fresh-picked strawberries lightly brushed with a balsamic vinegar reduction jump to life.

I'll never forget the first time I ate from the still-warm skull of an enemy. Barely 19 and returning home from a decisive victory over a sworn nemesis, I chose to celebrate with a feast of truffled lobster risotto in a shiitake mushroom garnish. My uncle Duvan the Middle suggested that, instead of eating it from a pasta bowl, I fashion a crude serving receptacle from the skull of a warrior chieftain I had slaughtered that day. A couple of bites and I was hooked. What a gastronomic revelation!

No matter what my wife says, though, I've eaten from enough skulls to know my gustatory reaction is about more than cherished reminiscences of horrifying carnage. Stews and pot roasts in particular have a way of seeping into the nooks and crannies of the bones, infusing every bite with flavor. And the lingering hint of dense connective tissue and cerebrospinal fluid can spice up any dish.

Once you've tried skulls, I guarantee you won't return to traditional dinnerware.

Most folks have a little trepidation their first time, but that's only natural if you stop to consider that the object you're eating from used to contain a mind bent on hacking you to pieces with a broadsword. You're bound to think, 'If my blade had been a fraction of a second slower, if my shield had failed to repel just one blow, then someone would be eating food out of my skull right now.' And, I suppose, my archrival Gundemar the Visigoth could one day be guzzling from my head that dish his wife so generously calls baked ziti.

But no skull in the world is going to make that edible.

If I've piqued your interest, allow me to offer a few cranial-culinary tips: First, it's very important that each skull come from a vanquished mortal adversary. Simply killing that neighbor with the yapping dog isn't going to cut it. Second, when you step into the kitchen, keep in mind that your only limits are the number of heads you've lopped off and your own creativity.

I like to throw dinner parties for my friends, each with a different theme. For example, after a successful ambush of invading Gauls, we might prepare a sumptuous bouillabaisse that we've let simmer for hours in our enemies' severed heads. And another time we might have Taco Night.

Believe me, the 22 bones of the skull aren't the only ones rife with gourmet possibilities. Back in college, we used to make beer bongs with spines we ripped from the chests of our rivals. More recently, my family has begun starting each day with a fruit smoothie spooned from a hollowed-out femur—a healthy treat that is an absolute delight after you've sucked down a few mouthfuls of marrow.

Before you start trying out your own recipes, though, I must issue a stern warning: Remember to observe the difference between the freshly decapitated skull of a long-despised opponent and that of a person you hate out of mere narrow-minded prejudice. To sup from the first is to be a warrior born, one beholden to sacred traditions and values. To sup from the latter is plain bigotry. Do not dishonor the customs of our people, or one day you might find your own skull being used to serve hummus to my in-laws!

I will use your eye sockets to hold the chips! I will use the gaps between your teeth to hold the crudités! I will lick your skull clean when we're though snacking!

Please excuse my outburst.

So, if you're skilled with a blade, part of a family that nurses centuries-old blood feuds, or simply looking for an excuse to indulge your taste buds, eating and drinking from a human skull might be just the thing for you. You'll never go back to eating out of sheep bladders.

_______________________
A fight to the death between zombies has a few inherent problems.

The more wretched Snopes

http://www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/ninetips.asp
Kind of creepy in spots but good information.
http://www.snopes.com/fraud/advancefee/grants.asp
If it's too good to be true....It's probably too good to be true.

Recycled dog

DOG FOUND IN RECYCLING BIN, RECOVERING AT TC PET HOSPITAL
A little dog is recovering at a pet hospital this morning after being
found inside a Traverse City recycling bin.  Nobody knows how he got into
the dumpster, but Animal Control says there's no way the dog could have
gotten in there on its own.  A woman discovered the dog Thursday and
officers brought him to the Banfield Pet Hospital.  The dog is extremely
thin and suffering from painful frost bite on his ears.  The vet says it
will take about 6 weeks for the Chihuahua-Boston Terrier mix to recover.
The dog will be up for adoption when it fully recovers.  You can see a
picture of the dog on our website, 9and10news.com.


_____________________________________________________________

Abandoned Dog by Robert William Service

They dumped it on the lonely road,
Then like a streak they sped;
And as along the way I strode
I thought that it was dead:
And then I saw that yelping pup
Rise, race to catch them up.

You know how silly wee dogs are.
It thought they were in fun.
Trying to overtake their car
I saw it run and run:
But as they faster, faster went,
It stumbled, sore and spent.

I found it prone upon the way;
Of life was little token.
As limply in the dust it lay
I thought its heart was broken:
Then one dim eye it opened and
It sought to like my hand.

Of course I took it gently up
And brought it to my wife
Who loves all dogs, and now that pup
Shares in our happy life:
Yet how I curse the bastards who
Its good luck never knew!

L@@K! Michigan's on television, and it's not because something bad happened L@@K!

"DIRTY JOBS" TAPING SHOW IN SAULT STE. MARIE
A popular TV show will be filming in the U.P. today with host Mike Rowe
planning to get his hands dirty as usual. The Discovery Channel's Dirty
Jobs is in Sault Ste. Marie taping a show at the Soo Locks. The locks are
currently undergoing scheduled winter maintenance and Mike is here to lend
a hand. In a press conference Tuesday afternoon, he told us he doesn't
know what his exact job in the locks will be, but that's nothing out of
the ordinary for him and his crew. The Soo Locks segment will likely air
during the next season of Dirty Jobs.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan
http://www.michigan.org/

FROM THE DESK OF PETE YATES!

Last updated March 10, 2009 6:19 p.m. PT
Police seize 1,200 pounds of pot in spinach cans



THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

GALLUP, N.M. -- Police with the New Mexico Motor Transportation Division found 1,200 pounds of pot packed in cans labeled as spinach during a stop at the Gallup port of entry. An inspector noticed that only a few of the cans were labeled and that the weight printed on the side of the can didn't match the actual weight. A closer look during last Friday's bust revealed the canned drugs, which were worth an estimated $1.5 million.

The four pallets of cans were being transported along with fresh produce.

The 50-year-old truck driver said he was on his way from California to the East Coast. The driver and the pot were turned over to the Drug Enforcement Administration.


--
....And it's reported that, on it's can, the drugs were "packed with vitamins and iron".
*snicker*

Onions 4EVER

FDA Approves Salmonella
	WASHINGTON—Calling it 'perfectly safe for the most part,' and 'not nearly as destructive or fatal as you'd think,' the Food and Drug Administration approved the enterobacteria salmonella for human consumption this week.

Year Of Law School Now Mandatory For Nation's 25-Year-Olds

WASHINGTON—Under the provisions of a bill approved by Congress and signed into law Tuesday, every 25-year-old American, regardless of prior life commitments, is now legally obligated to enroll in a full year of study at one of the nation's accredited law schools. 'This new measure gives us the means to compel 25-year-olds to simultaneously placate their parents, impress their friends with complex-sounding legal jargon, and effectively avoid any real-world responsibilities for another full year,' said Rep. Steve Buyer (R-IN). 'We can think of no better way for our young people to squander their post collegiate aimlessness.' Congress is reportedly seeking further legislation that would provide for an additional nine months of grumbling over LSAT prep, and up to five years of whining about paying off student loan debt.

Obama Overturns Bush Stem Cell Policy

President Obama has lifted restrictions that prevented federal funding of labs using embryonic stem cells for research. What do you think?

Mindy Kane,
Systems Analyst
"I expected a higher moral standard from Obama, but it looks like he's just another pawn of the severed-spinal-cord lobby."

Kyle McConnell,
Veterinary Assistant
"I believe that embryos are humans, but fortunately I can't bring myself to care about people I don't know."

Miles Proctor,
Consultant
"Yeah, I get it. Obama's the 'cool' president."

Rise In Rent Forces Local Taco Bell To Take On Roommate

ROCKFORD, ILL—Head cashier Dana Canty, 19, said she was forced to quit last week after new roommate Brian Studer repeatedly entered her work area wearing nothing but a towel.

	I Know A Guy Who Knows A Guy Who Can Really Screw Us Over Reggie Varela

________________________________________________________
We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. - Ambrose Bierce

Lunatic Ninja Fringe

You know, not that this matters, but my husband Joe, has actually been to Australia and had an Asian prostitute say to him, "Love you long time Joe."
Laughter did ensue.
On both our parts.
Not only because it was so cliche' but because I say that to him all the time.
______________________________________________________________

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/7932842.stm
'I felt the kangaroo jumping on top of us'

Hero in underpants 'tackles 'roo'

A man in Australia says he suffered scratched buttocks and shredded underpants wrestling a kangaroo which smashed through his bedroom window.

Beat Ettlin, his wife and daughter cowered beneath their blankets as it jumped on their bed.

But it then bounded into the room of the Ettlins' young son, who screamed, and Mr Ettlin was forced to act.

Mr Ettlin struggled to get the hopping marsupial into a headlock and drag it to the front door.

Shoved outside, wounded, it disappeared into a nearby reserve outside Canberra.

Inside, the animal - which Mr Ettlin said was about his own height, 5 ft 9 in (175cm) - had gouged holes in the furniture and smeared blood over the walls as it bounced around the house.

"I just kept holding the covers over my head and felt the kangaroo jumping on top of us," recalled Mr Ettlin's wife, Verity Beman.

She described her husband as "a hero: a hero in Bonds undies" - referring to a brand of underwear popular in Australia.

Mr Ettlin, who is 42 and originally from Switzerland, described himself as a lucky man.

"My initial thought when I was half awake was, 'it's a lunatic ninja coming through the window'," he said.

Kangaroos are common around the outskirts of Canberra, but only rarely invade homes, experts say.

____________________________________________*_____________________________________________________


The Kangaroo
Barron Field
(1786 - 1846)

Kanagaroo, Kangaroo!
Thou Spirit of Australia,
That redeems from utter failure,
From perfect desolation,
And warrants the creation
Of this fifth part of the Earth,
Which would seem an after-birth,
Not conceiv'd in the Beginning
(For GOD bless'd His work at first,
And saw that it was good),
But emerg'd at the first sinning,
When the ground was therefore curst; --
And hence this barren wood!

Only in Northern Michigan and Snopes

Bomb Squad Called To Missaukee County Home
Posted: 3/6/2009

Originally called to a Missaukee County home for a domestic disturbance, police had to call in a bomb squad.

Deputies called them in when they found explosives at a home in Lake City.

They found illegal weapons, a couple grenades and home-made explosive devices.
  
The bomb squad came in to properly dispose of them.
  
The prosecutors office hasn't made a decision yet on any charges.
________________...................................__________________

They found illegal weapons, a couple grenades and home-made explosive devices.
Who makes home made explosives? Seriously? And why?
Martha Rambo Stewart? Are they Sarah Conner? Expecting The Terminator?
________________...................................__________________


NASTY NASTY NASTY!!!
http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/cart.asp

One goes we all go mentality: WARNING! It's glurge....I know, right.
http://www.snopes.com/glurge/military/ridedown.asp

Someone get the butter and lemon sauce ready because, this guy just looks delicious!
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/coconutcrab.asp
NUM NUM NUM!!!
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Ode to the Crab
by Bill Brown

Yea, crab..crab...Crustacean delight,
You offer us joy at your hot, steamy sight.

From claws to back fin, you beg us to take,
And revel in feasting, it is no mistake.

Shamwhoa...

It's so wrong it's right....

Snopes for a rainy day

Is happiness a warm gun?
http://www.snopes.com/politics/guns/blairholt.asp

It's not good for dogs to be cookoo for cocoa mulch.
http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/cocoamulch.asp

http://www.snopes.com/science/microwave.asp
I personally was always afeared that if I turned on the microwave without something in it, it would create some kind of nuclear chain reaction and blow up like Hiroshima....
It's all true...

Image by tHe_jOLLy_pOSTMAn from Deviant Art

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Robert Jungk's 1958 Brighter than a Thousand Suns:

If the radiance of a thousand suns

were to burst into the sky,

that would be like

the splendor of the Mighty One—

I am become Death, the shatterer of Worlds.

♫ America, America ♫

There is nothing more motivated than the American immigrant. No one more possessed of the American dream, no one more appreciative of the liberties we take for granted. They are grateful and take great pride in their achievements no matter how minor.
There is no one more fiercely protective of America, more devoted to the idea of freedom, more focused on success than they are...
They love everything about America that we find fault in, from the fact that we can say anything we want about The United States, including about our leaders, without fear of being arrested (most of the time....The Bush administration bordered that, but I digress) to the fact that we can own HUGE PLOTS OF LAND, and be allowed to live anywhere we want.
All of us can vote, ALL OF US. Not just a few of us and ALL of us can vote without being bullied into voting differently than our opinion.
And there are more freedoms than this - this is just a few.
According to a lot of nations, we live in the democratic ideal. I know a lot of us don't believe that of ourselves but people in other countries really do see us that way. That's why when something in our government fails or shows signs of corruption, that's why they are so disappointed in us and look at you and I, not our leaders, but you and I as the bad guys.
You merely need to be around them, and hear their stories, or travel to another country to realize, we live somewhere amazing.
And if you didn't love The United States before that, you will love it afterward....

And if you do go to another country....Be aware, no one makes a hamburger like we do. Hot dogs and hamburgers are truly American as is our version of Pizza.

It's all true.

I guess what I'm getting at is that we all need to, from time to time, see our country through the eyes of an immigrant. It really is one of the few ways to really appreciate what we were merely born into, and because of that we don't appreciate the way we should. This place and what it stands for is what our grandparents and great grandparents gave up home and hearth to give us.
And sometimes it takes looking back at what they left to appreciate what we have.

Reasons why I don't eat at Culver's....

Click on cartoon above to see it fully...

Well, for starters they are dripping with trans fat...

I mean, this is Culver's:

Doubly Delicious

Double ButterBurger with Cheese Value Basket. It's everything you love about Culver's.

View our Nutrition Facts

GAH!
The sign outside says it all
It says:
Try our new shrimp cappuccino almond fudge....What a new ice cream flavor for cats?
I know it's probably "Try our new shrimp." And then, "Cappucino Almond Fudge" which is the ice cream of the week...Like you need more fat after deep fried shrimp...
I know, not a great pic of the sign, but I'd packed up my camera already.
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Hey that's one depressing Onion!

I was reading this particular article and it's just really actually depressing. As the sister of a still born child it really kind of gives me pause because the loss of a child is not one bit funny in the least; it doesn't matter how it happens...I realize they are probably just making a point about China's "one child" rule but it's not the venue in my opinion.
 

Son, It's Time We Have A Talk About Where Babies Go

Zhi Peng Wuang

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Now back to the silliness...

Jonas Brothers Film Underperforms

Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience opened this weekend with only $12.7 million at the box office, far less than analysts had expected. What do you think?

Becca Robinson,
Unemployed
"This isn't exactly the first time the Jonas Brothers have 'underperformed,' if you know what I'm saying. I had sex with the Jonas Brothers. Every last one!"

Ian Killeen,
Systems Analyst
"They probably didn't extend their arms toward the camera enough. That's pretty much the main reason why people go see 3-D movies."

Ron Keefe,
I.T. Specialist
"I was going to go. Then I remembered I was a middle-aged man crippled with responsibility."

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....And something that I believed would have been beneficial to my own high school.......

Lovecraftian School Board Member Wants Madness Added To Curriculum

ARKHAM, MA—'Our facilities must be razed to the ground and rebuilt in the image of the Cyclopean dwellings of the Elder Gods,' said board member Charles West.

Slowly she began capping again, it was a stretch to do, but she realized it was important to begin to cap again...

Click on the above image to read captions....If you dare....

Today is 3^2, call your scientist dad and thank him for the brain cells...And if, unlike me, you don't have a scientist dad....Call your old math teacher and make his day....

Only in Northern Michigan....Yeah....

SEARCH CONTINUES FOR THIEVES WHO BROKE INTO A CADILLAC TATTOO SHOP
The search continues this morning for whoever broke into a Cadillac tattoo
shop.  Thieves broke into "One Life Tattoo" and stole nearly $5,000 worth
of merchandise and equipment.  The owner says someone broke in through a
window at the back of the store on West River Street sometime after 2:00
am Saturday morning.  He says they took tattoo guns, power supply units,
cords, tubes, ink, a lot of jewelry and much more.  Not only is the owner
out the cost of the equipment, but closing down the store Saturday cost
them more than $400.  The owner says he's offering an arm sleeve of
tattoos worth over $2,000 as a reward for anyone who knows who's
responsible.

That just sounds like a bad idea...I mean this is a guy that could track you down, knock you out and tattoo a donkey on your forehead and the word "ASS" under that, printed backward so you can read it in the mirror.
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A northern Michigan woman with two wombs has given birth to twin daughters -- one from each uterus.
The Mining Journal and WLUC-TV report 21-year-old Sarah Reinfelder's babies were delivered seven weeks premature Thursday by Caesarean section at Marquette General Hospital in the Upper Peninsula.Doctors say Kaylin Joy and Valerie Marie are healthy, and they and their mother are doing fine. Kaylin, who was delivered first, weighed 3 pounds, 15 ounces, and Valerie weighed 4 pounds, 15 ounces. Reinfelder has uterus didelphys, and doctors say such twin births are rare.
Reinfelder, along with her husband Shane and 10-month-old son William, are originally from Sault Ste. Marie. They've been living in Marquette for about two months to be close to the hospital.
(Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)


 Both uterus's will be at a local coffee shop later this week, signing autographs for a small fee...
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