Church bulletin bloopers!

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much
about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir
will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will
be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of
every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in
the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to
sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at
10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after
the B.S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday
at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
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Emo Philips  - "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."