Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Onion bastards

Last Remaining Politician Must Rebuild Entire Government Following Bloodiest Midterm Election In American History 11.03.10

WASHINGTON—In the wake of what is being called the deadliest midterm election in the nation's history, Washington's sole surviving politician, Rep. Peter DeFazio of Oregon's 4th Congressional District, emerged from the rubble of the Capitol building Wednesday to announce his intention to rebuild the fallen U.S. government.


Nonvoter Knew It Would Turn Out This Way

Americans Bravely Go To Polls Despite Threat Of Electing Congress


Social Security Scam Robs Elderly By Convincing Them They Are Dead

A new scam preys on the elderly by informing them they have died and instructing them to reroute their social security checks to the 'Department of the Dead.'


This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Guns Around The House

by Jessica Postma

Okay, that is it. Timothy, Rebecca, come here this instant! I've simply had it with you two. I thought I heard a .357 Magnum round discharge, and sure enough, what do I find when I open the end-table drawer but your father's still-smoking Desert Eagle.


New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don't Want To Have A Country Anymore

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Caption of the moment

By Dirigo:


Meanwhile, in the Gulf of Mexico...

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